Pressure Cracks

I feel like I've been breathing out of an exhaust pipe On the job site, with a fist full of brittle sand Should've seen it coming/ a mile away from that little hill in which I'm making a stand on It makes a man of me, (doesn't it?) and if it never kills me then I get a pass Wish I coulda opened up the air around me just a little bit so I could take a gasp Who the hell is watchin? Put a notch in; my belt, keep it on the track 'Shoulda-Woulda-Coulda' never made a difference When you're playing chicken with your only chance But it made a man of me right? Mad man I gotta dance around and play in sounds... Wish I knew back then what I know now Ya look at me nowDodging forever Spending a fortune to figure it out I don't believe it, never learned how All of this pressure is driving me wild Look at me now Look at me now I'm starting to feel like it's stackin on my shoulders Another soldier with little patience to see the dawn Fought a lot of odds in the name of "Cause," Put 'em in a box; buried in the lawn But I learned a lesson from it, (didn't I?) And if I didn't who the hell is gonna teach me? I've been looking for answers and none of em ever offer the lesson that'll reach me Who can see me? -Losing personal relationships like people do their house keys I've been outside, looking inside, with a shadow casted all around me And they doubt me, try to throw a little part of me away with every frown Just wish they saw what I know now Yeah, look at me now Dodging forever Spending a fortune to figure it out I don't believe it, never learned how All of this pressure is driving me wild Look at me now Look at me now