Manzanita

[Produced by GoldSoul] [Verse 1] Clear the mind with cigarettes, alcoholic beverages I recollect on times I’ve been depressed, can’t say you incorrect Demons they just manifest, dreams they just been oppressed Lately I’ve been feeling stressed and all these pills don’t have effects Last night I sent God a text, I said “give your ass a rest” Much as I don’t wanna admit, couple weeks ain’t feelin’ shit I might just chug down a fifth, roll more weed up in this spliff They say ignorance is bliss but for me it’s hard to forget I’m sorry I’m not a man, I’m sorry I’m not a leader I’m sorry you don’t understand, I’m sorry that I had to leave her But she had to save herself, you might as well do the same All I know is time will tell if I can ever explain These burdens I carry like the son of the Virgin Mary Dodgin’ sermons I’m lazy but I still write some verses daily And lately I’m a contradiction pennin’ all these compositions And I only kinda get it while I get confined within it Today a prodigy is an oddity, prophecy be mythology Probably need an apology if I don’t meet the policiy But I ain’t stressin’ ‘bout that, I’m stressin’ ‘bout rap And how I focused on it too much to even call my grandpaps He died yesterday and now my grandma going next I won’t even get the text ‘cause I’m focused on being the best My people never make it out here on all of theses streets Robbin’ for swishas and sneaks, leave blood on Nike Elites And if there’s a beef, there’s a feast, even took my man’s receipt All you hear is shrieks if you coming outta Kathleen You hop outta that whip you just got from the dealership It’s like a drug, you take a hit, you got coke if you need a lift That’s all the opposite, the reason you dodgin’ opposition Competition, if you get caught then you’re in our position But my homie caught some hollows, two missed, two grazed him The final one hit him, now he spillin’ on the pavement Brains like some fried eggs and he sizzlin’ like bacon Two weeks from graduation now he prayin’ for salvation I look back inside my dreams and that’s what makes my inspiration Tryin’ to be a 23 before meetin’ a 22 at 21 If I ever have a nightmare I’mma break some expectations Before I trip up and end up the victim to the barrel of a gun I’m scared I’m gonna die and I always fear rejection If I never go outside then how I know my own direction? The mind’s flawed, filled with thoughts that I ain’t want And the time’s gone, so before dawn will I head home?