The Maggot

Oh, maggot, he's a modern day Fagin Turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan Dripping with charm, style and panache He'll leave you sore like a venereal rash They tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash' He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash He's a bastard, but he's always looking flash With his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash Sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too The tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew Watch out if he's there when you're pissed He learnt his science from my man, Oliver Twist Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list Selling sexy DVD's of a willy being kissed Stealing pensions frmo the old and infirm Made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm Like Charles Dickens, there's a lesson to be learned Beware the maggot cos the worm has turned Whoop......whoop......whoop All of de yout' shall witness de day that Babylon shall faaaalll Just like Jack The Ripper, he'll do you up a kipper And he's like a highway man holding up a newborn nipper He's smarter than Sherlock Holmes or ITV's Taggart I'm dapper, refined and they call me the maggot Turn your back and your pocket, he will pick His eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped Like a chameleon, I'm the master thief Using a disguise, dressed like Penelope Keith You gotta smoke a reefer or two You gotta smoke a reefer or two You gotta smoke a reefer or two You gotta smoke a reefer or two I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole Taking belongings in my ultimate goal I'll take your china, your silver and your soul By darkness and night, I shimmy up the drain-pipe The maggot, the maggot, that's who I am Don't ever trust me, always doing a scam I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham Gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry Like Sherlock Holmes bumming Watson, it's elementary He's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue Doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue He's got the strength of ten, like a maniac And I'm also identified as Spring-heeled Jack Whoa, here he comes Watch out, son, he'll rip you off Whoa, here he comes He's a money grabbing bastard from Newport I'm maggot with the GLC Big shout to all the Valleys Free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger Big up to Dipper Nan Merthyr Connection Postman Port, big shout out to Postman Port And Mark, running the bar Always sorts it Big up Hafodrynys hotel Big up to Pontllanfraith crew Also the West End crew in Abercarn I did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing Big wheel up, big wheel up All the bus routes X15, 53, big respect Red and white at cross keys And their rivals Glynn Williams Respect to you all All those that know fake Elvis On their transister radio...... Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3 Every man do his ting, a little bit different