Song For Kelly

Eggsy I seen that film, American Pie Where a bloke fucked the food, so I gave it a try My technique was slightly off-key It involved tinned meat and a pop celebrity I wouldn't hurt her if I saw her on the street But I wanna make a statue just of Kelly for me You know, it all started way back when Using spam to carve Boys II Men I used bacon to make Rusty Lee Kelly Osbourne, you're my meat fantasy You're always there when I need to talk And I love the way your fingers and your toes are made (from pork) All I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn Maggot Minimum content, 3% meat I trimmed the fat off, it looked really neat Made the torso and shaped the thighs But I'm stuck, I've got nothing for the eyes Billy Fluid dripping like a running tap When I warm my meat up and rub it on the lap Xain Making bacon with reformed ham People pay money for this in Amsterdam Mysty Meat fantasies often give me the horn But nothing like a corned beef Kelly Osbourne You're divine, so sexy, so tasty Like meat in a pie when I penetrate the pastry Xain This girl I was with had a vag like corned beef It was all smashed up and I thought it had teeth I thought kebab was on the main course So I covered it in my own special garlic sauce All I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn Xain I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne Y'know Adam Sit back kid, take a book outta my leaf I love to fuck a pile of sweaty sticky beef Down Aldi's they're looking at me funny Twelve tins of corned beef now it's a cunny Ooh, I'm gonna fuck you, right here, right now Make a mess with my stiff, gonna show you how Stick it in, watch the foreskin Try to fuck the tin, rip my banjo string Cos you knows I wanna fuck that prime fillet cut With a bit of lippy dressed up like a slut Getting down on the floor for a bit of screwing 'Til someone said "oi wanker, what you doing?" Threw me out, I raised an objection With corned beef still stuck to my erection So what, fuck 'em, I don't give a toss I'm going home with a Fray Bentos All I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn Mysty/Xain Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat) Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat) Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat) Meat fantasies Meat fantasies Xain Aaah, that's right, back with the rhythm Like a Ginster's pasty covered in jism Maggot Meaty bitches out on a binge I'm going home with a corned beef minge Billy Shagging the meat, but I ain't mincing Hiding my eyes to stop me gagging and wincing At the smell of the rancid spammy clam As a steak tenderiser goes "bam bam bam!" Mike Madame Tussauds you got nothing on me I got my own meatworks laboratory All Saints and Spice Girls and miss Zeta-Jones All I want is the meat, don't care about the bones Eggsy I tried sex shops, I tried DVDs It don't mean shit compared to meats like these Aspic jelly, and a coating of lard These are the things that make my penis go hard All I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne And I fucked it when I was watching porn Xain I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne Y'knows