Woodrow the Basehead (Skit)

WOODROW: Hey, Brother Stark! GHOSTFACE: What up, ‘Dro? WOODROW: A-yo, what up, my motherfuckin’ nigga? GHOSTFACE: Ha, my nigga, what’s that, it’s my mother—ahhhhhhhhhh… WOODROW: Whoooooo! ... GHOSTFACE: What up, kid? WOODROW: A-yo, man, why y’all niggas playing me? ‘Cause Woodrow ain’t never hurt no-motherfuckin-body… GHOSTFACE: [SMACKS LIPS] Ahhh, stop fakin’… WOODROW: Get these big niggas off me, man… GHOSTFACE: Ah, ‘Dro, you wild, ‘Dro. What up, G? WOODROW: A-yo, let me get two. Let me get two GHOSTFACE: [SMACKS LIPS] C’mon, ‘Dro. You know I can’t fuck with you like that, ‘Dro, y’know dunn? WOODROW: I’m saying, man, I know y’all motherfuckers say cash rules everything around you, but crack rules everything around me, motherfucker! GHOSTFACE: Stop that, ‘Dro! Damn! WOODROW: Know what I’m sayin’? Now, like I said, I got nine dollars for yo’ ass, know what I’m sayin’… you know, I come through— GHOSTFACE: ‘Dro ‘Dro ‘Dro, you got the most G in the world, ‘Dro, slow down, pard… Slow down. C’mon… C’mon, Dro-Dro! [BODYGUARDS chuckle] WOODROW: I’m sayin’! It ain’t no motherfuckin’ game, nigga, I come through with the TV’s… I come through with the VC— GHOSTFACE: Christmas tomorrow, man! Christmas tomorrow! WOODROW: And I’m gonna come through for y’all motherfuckers all over here! Stapleton, y’all niggas know how I do! And I’m from uptown, I don’t even motherfuckin’ supposed to be around here, but I come around here, and I spread my motherfuckin’ love. Now I’m saying, give me two cracks, let me go on the roof, take my two— GHOSTFACE: Alright yo. Damn, man… C’mon, but you know… you’re like fam, god… WOODROW:—and get on my shit! GHOSTFACE: Alright, duke, C’mon ‘Dro, you like fam, man, I love you, man. I love you, man… C’mon ‘Dro! WOODROW: C’mon, man, the first is around the motherfuckin’ corner, just like you love the first, and when I see yo’ ass, in front of that motherfuckin’ check cashing, nigga, you don’t kiss me! Nigga, you get your motherfuckin’ money, and keep steppin’. So let me get my motherfuckin’ crack, go get high and do my motherfuckin’ thing, and I’m motherfuckin’ leavin’, motherfucker GHOSTFACE: God… damn, ‘Dro! [NERVOUS LAUGHTER] WOODROW: Come on, man, Come on! Brother Stark! GHOSTFACE: [PAUSE] Damn WOODROW: Look, see I always gotta go through this shit, man… y’all niggas are supposed to be Big Willies, you actin’ a little silly, motherfucker! GHOSTFACE: That ain’t got nothin’…that ain’t even got nothin’ to do with it, ‘Dro, c’mon, ‘Dro WOODROW: C’mon, man! C’mon, man! GHOSTFACE: [LAUGHING] A yo, ‘Dro, slow the fuck down. C’mon pard. You know I love you, though, God. What’s wrong with you, man? WOODROW: A yo, tell these motherfuckas to back up! These niggas all in my motherfuckin’ face— GHOSTFACE: Nah, those are—Those are my niggas, right there! Overseein’— WOODROW: [TURNS TO BODYGUARD] You think I don’t carry a motherfuckin’ pistol, nigga? BODYGUARD: Ease up, ease up WOODROW: ‘Cause I’m a crackhead? GHOSTFACE: Yo ‘Dro, stop that, man. Stop that, man. See now, c’mon, baby… WOODROW: Nigga, I got a motherfuckin’ nickel plated .380, I go down to my old lady house, man, I tell her, “Suzie, throw it out the window! Suzie!” GHOSTFACE: [NERVOUS LAUGH] Ay-yo, you wild WOODROW: Don’t play with me, mother—[SUDDENLY, AS IF HE HEARD SOMETHING] “Sue!” GHOSTFACE: You wild, ‘Dro. Stop it, braw… WOODROW: Back the fuck up, motherfuckers! GHOSTFACE: Nah it’s all… it’s all good. This is my, this is my nigga right here, this is ‘Dro WOODROW: Now… Brother Stark. All I want is two, man. That’s all I want GHOSTFACE: Listen, man. I can’t even do it like that… I can’t even do it, no, on the real, ‘Dro, I’m tight, God. I can’t do it like that. You know… c’mon, man. You like fam, God WOODROW: Look, see I’m gonna have to go see the motherfuckin’ Rastas, then! I see I’m gonna have to go see the motherfuckin’ Rastas! They let a motherfucker get it for seven! GHOSTFACE: Son, they just.. You wonder why… you wonder why them niggas keep lookin’ at yo’ ass, huh? Fuck with them niggas like that! WOODROW: [PAUSE] Fuck them, fuck you, and fuck this motherfuckin’ crack house! I’m out, motherfuckers! Fuck y’all motherfuckers! GHOSTFACE: Yo ‘Dro, don’t disrespect my gate… don’t disrespect it. Don’t disrespect my gate like that WOODROW: I don’t give a f—y’all won’t let me get two for nine dollars. One motherfuckin’ dollar? GHOSTFACE: A yo ‘Dro… get the fuck out the house. Get the fuck out the gate, man. I’m about to knock you the fuck out WOODROW: [LEAVING] Always want a motherfucker… get off me!