You Are What You Is

Do you know what you are? You are what you is You is what you am (A cow don't make ham . . . ) You ain't what you're not So see what you got You are what you is An' that's all it 'tis A foolish young man From a middle class fam'ly Started singin' the blues Cause he thought it was manly Now he talks like the Kingfish ("Saffiiiee!") From Amos 'n Andy ("Holy mack'l dere . . . Holy mack'l dere!") He tells you that chitlins (Chitlins!) Well, they taste just like candy He thinks that he's got De whole thang down From the Nivea Lotion To de Royal Crown Do you know what you are? You are what you is You is what you am (A cow don't make ham . . . ) You ain't what you're not So see what you got You are what you is An' that's all it 'tis A foolish young man Of the Negro Persuasion Devoted his life To become a caucasian He stopped eating pork He stopped eating greens He traded his dashiki ("Uhuru!") For some Jordache Jeans He learned to play golf An' he got a good score Now he says to himself "I AIN'T NO NIGGER NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!" "I don't understand you . . . " BWANA MA-COO-BAH "Would you please speak more clearly . . . " MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ Who is who (I don't know . . . ) 'N what is what (Somethin' I just don't know . . . ) 'N why is this (Tell me now . . . ) Appropriot (That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one . . . ) If you don't like (Where'd you get that word?) What you has got (Appropriot? The word is not . . . ) Drop it in the dirt (Drop it yeah . . . ) 'N let it rot (I can smell it now . . . ) Someone else (Here de come, here de come . . . ) Will surely come (I told you they was comin') 'N pick it up (That's right!) Cause he wants some (An' he wants it for free . . . ) And when one day (There will come a day . . . ) You wonder who (I wonder too . . . ) You used to was (Who I was anyway . . . ) 'N what you do (I used to work at the post office . . . ) You'll scratch your head (But I don't wanna un-do my doo . . . ) 'N look around (Just to see what's goin' on . . . ) But what you lost (Can't seem to find it . . . ) Will not be found (A Mercedes Benz . . . ) Do you know what you are? (I know . . . ) You are what you is (I'm the kinda guy . . . ) You is what you am (That ought to be drivin' . . . ) A cow don't make a ham (A four-fifty SLC . . . ) You ain't what you're not (A big ol' red one . . . ) So see what you got (With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk . . . ) You are what you is (I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin' . . . ) An' that's all it is (Gimme a five-dollar bill . . . ) YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS (And an overcoat too . . . ) AND THAT'S ALL IT IS (Where's my waitress? Yeah . . . ) YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS (Robbie, take me to Greek Town . . . ) AN THAT'S ALL IT IS (I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband . . . ) YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS (I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all . . . ) AN THAT'S ALL IT IS (I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor . . . ) YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS ('N work the pipe 'n work the wall . . . ) AN THAT'S ALL IT IS (Some more . . . )