Tush Tush Tush (A Token of My Extreme)

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals) Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals) Ike Willis (lead vocals) Peter Wolf (keyboards) Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals) Ed Mann (percussion) Vinnie Colaiuta (drums) Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen... L. Ron Hoover: Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only! Don't you be Tarot-fied It's just a token Of my extreme Don't you be Tarot-fied It's just a token Of my extreme Don't you never try to Look behind my eyes You don't wanna know What they have seen Don't you never try to Look behind my eyes You don't wanna know What they have seen Joe: (thinking to himself) Some people think That if they go too far They'll never get back To where the rest of Them are I might be crazy But there's one thing I know You might be surprised At what you find When ya go! And thus, having rationalized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks The Answer to his problem... Joe: Oh oh oh Mystical Advisor What is my problem Tell me Can you see? L. Ron Hoover: Well, you have nothing To fear, my son! You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist It appears to me! Joe: That all seems very Very strange I never craved A toaster Or a color T.V L. Ron Hoover: A Latent Appliance Fetishist Is a person who Refuses to admit To his or herself That sexual Gratification can Only be achieved Through the use of MACHINES... Get the picture? Joe: Are you telling me I should come out Of the closet now Mr. Ron? L. Ron Hoover: No, my son! You must go into THE CLOSET Joe: What? L. Ron Hoover: And you will have Joe: Heh? L. Ron Hoover: Hey! A lot of fun! That's where They all live So if you want an Appliance to love you You'll have to Go in there 'N' get you one Joe: Well...that seems Simple enough... L. Ron Hoover: Yes, but if you want a Really GOOD one You'll have to learn a Foreign language... Joe: German, for instance? L. Ron Hoover: That's right... A lot of really cute Ones come from Over there! (Fifty bucks, please) And a cheerful group of Appliantologists dance Into the room wearing Aluminum foil lab smocks Lock arms in a circle Around JOE, making sure He pays in full, all the While singing with L. RON As he delivers his final Instructions... L. Ron Hoover: If you been Mod-O-fied It's an illusion An you're in between Don't you be Tarot-fied It's just a lot of nothin' So what can it mean? If you been Mod-O-fied It's an illusion An yer in between Don't you be Tarot-fied It's just a lot of nothin' So what can it mean? If you been Mod-O-fied It's an illusion An yer in between... JOE leaves the First Church of Appliantology and sets out to try L. RON's expensive advice CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER: This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe has just learned to speak German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on The other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET... And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up Like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees These little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he Sees this one...that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum Cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body... It's really exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG...