Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?

Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe) His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!" He had an Irish Setter (Hrtch-a-pltch Hrtch-a-pltch Hrtch-a-pltch Arf!) It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night The moon was dim, the band was tight They did the Bump together What a splendid sight (Roon doon doon doon) Her teeth were white (Oo-ah oo-oooh) The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite) He was glad that he met her She was an office girl ("My name is Betty") Her fav'rite group was HELEN REDDY (They discussed the weather) Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a Baby don't you want a Baby don't you want a Man! She was a lonely sort, just a little too short Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport Was hockey (in the winter) He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best As he jabbed his elbow in her (get it honey? Get it?) Later on they went off to where the music was soft The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY Who delivered their dinner The rice was brown, and soon they found That the crowd around that had jammed the room Well it seemed to be getting thinner Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a Baby don't you want a Baby don't you want a Man! He took her home to a motor court She would not kiss him, he tried to ignore it But it made him angry! (Angry! It made me angry! Why it made me so angry I COULD HAVE KILLED THAT LOUSY BITCH!) He called her a slut (Slut slut slut . . . ) A pig (Pig pig pig . . . ) And a whore (Whore whore whore . . . ) A bitch (Bitch bitch bitch . . . ) And a cunt (Cunt cunt cunt . . . ) And she slammed the door (The door!) In a petulant frenzy! (A petulant frenzy! This is a petulant Frenzy! I'm petulant And I'm having a frenzy!) On the sofa she weeps BOO HOO HOO HOO She weeps and she weeps BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO She weeps and she peeps Through the curtain He just got in his car But the battery's dead So he asked to use the phone And she gives him some head And that's the end of the story Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a man like me Honey honey, hey Baby don't you want a Baby don't you want a Baby don't you want a Man! Baby don't you want a man sometimes?