Dickie's Such an Asshole

[includes quotes from Midnight Sun (Hampton/Burke/Mercer), The Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Steffe/Howe) and Billy The Mountain] [Vinyl spoken intro: Tower Theater, Upper Darby, PA February 12, 1988 Song: Warner Theatre, Washington DC February 9, 1988 & Hall Tivoli, Strasbourg, France May 23, 1988 & Broome County Arena, Binghamton, NY March 17, 1988 & Olympen, Lund, Sweden April 26, 1988 & Music Hall, Cleveland, Ohio March 5, 1988] FZ: Thank you! Hate to see this go to waste Ike: Fringe. I mean that, man FZ: Alright. CNN ran a story last week about this new product that has been developed for our prison system. It is called "Confinement Loaf." Now what it is it's, uh, bean by-products compressed into a loaf, which is administered to problem prisoners. Their diet will be a slice of "Confinement Loaf" and a cup of water, and it seems to mellow them out right away. So my question is: How long before "Confinement Loaf" appears in United States High Schools? One 'n one is eleven! Two 'n two is twenty-two! Won't somebody kindly tell me What the government's tryin' t' do . . Dickie's just to tricky For a chump like me to use, oh use You take that sub-committee serious, boy (and I'm serious) You just might get a seizure from the evenin' news Millions 'n millions of dollars . . Much as he might need . . . (good work!) He could open up a chain of motels, people On the highway, yes indeed! Quadrophonic desperation! (oh, pinch that loaf now!) There might be confinement loaf up under your bed (well . . . ) You know if you just might pinch a little loaf in your slumber (pffft . . . NURSE!) The FBI is gonna get your number GONNA GET YA GONNA GET YA GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA! THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI THEY ALREADY GOT YOUR PICTURE THE FBI AND YOUR FINGERPRINTS TOO THE FBI THEN THEY GOT A GUY IN VIRGINA THE FBI WHIFFING UP A LITTLE SOUP JUST FOR YOU GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER Tryin' not to worry Tryin' not to care But you know, I get so excited When that soup goes over there Can't have no private conversation Nowhere In the USA Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the the world Find out that their confinement loaf Is just the same ol' way Every day . . (Pinch that loaf now!) Let me tell you about this right now Let me tell you about this right here Let me make this formerly clear Let me tell you about this right here You know you put me in office So you must have wanted me in office I did you no harm I used to have twenty-five tapes Now I only got ten Can't remember what happened to the rest S'pose I gave 'em to a friend Gave a couple to Bebe Rebozo Gave a couple to Pat Boone Gave a couple to Ronald Reagan Gave a couple to the new vice-president He said he'd stick with me through thick and thin Even if I invaded Nicaragua You know I'm not a crook You know I'm not a crook I just wanna lie about one more thing right now . . (Say yeah yeah . . . ) The gangster stepped right up 'N kissed him on the lips good-bye Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did An' he didn't even bat an eye! The man in the White House - oooh! He's got a conscience black as sin! (Yeah, maybe I . . . I don't know but, it's just a training exercise) There's just one thing I wanna know - How'd that asshole ever manage to get in? You're all the same, so sing right along now: DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE Sincerely, Dick, we mean it Sincerely, Ron, we mean it Sincerely, Dick and Ron, we continue to mean it Wee-ooo Now let's bring the Republican Party up to date . .