Ballad of the Dying Man

[Verse 1] Naturally the dying man wonders to himself: Has commentary been more lucid than anybody else? And had he successively beaten back the rising tide Of idiots, dilettantes, and fools On his watch while he was alive Lord, just a little more time [Refrain] Oh, in no time at all This'll be the distant past Ooh [Verse 2] So says the dying man once I'm in the box Just think of all the overrated hacks running amok And all of the pretentious, ignorant voices that will go unchecked The homophobes, hipsters, and 1% The false feminists he'd managed to detect Oh, who will critique them once he's left? [Refrain] Oh, in no time at all This'll be the distant past [Bridge] What he'd give for one more day to rate and analyze The world made in his image as of yet To realize what a mess to leave behind [Verse 3] Eventually the dying man takes his final breath But first checks his news feed to see what he's 'bout to miss And it occurs to him a little late in the game We leave as clueless as we came From rented heavens to the shadows in the cave We'll all be wrong someday [Outro] Oh Oh Oh