Frail Dale

[Verse One: Pip Skid] When he was young mom wouldn't let him go and play It'd be best if the other kids stayed away Soiled rotten, gotten what he wanted an only child Throw a hissy fit quick, known to get wild Cried you touched him and his ribs stuck out Developed late like the hour that you snuck out Delicate like dishes saved for guests And expect them little legs tucked away in a bird's nest The kind of guy that always slips in a spill Too precious for the sun, the heat will make him really ill An ice grill can turn him to dust Sucky little guy who don't eat the crust Never took the bus, always chauffeured around Might sprain an ankle if his feet touched the ground Never did a dish, never swept a floor Tried to walk to the store but it left him sore Poor Dale with the 'I Don't Like' list of disease The only thing he's not allergic too is water and cheese Won't ease up about all the problems he's got Something always hurts, his runny nose won't stop A lot like MJ only without supporters Trouble dealing with change bigger than quarters Only weighs a buck like something on sale Skinny like a piece of letter mail, Frail Dale [Interlude: Frail Dale whining] Don't. Leave me alone. I-I don't wanna. I-I don't like that. Don't "Boy this kid is something else" [Verse Two: Mcenroe] Frail since the smallest infant Pale and misfed, looking young and innocent On a daily basis They confiscate his Money for lunch, after school the chase is on All the way home, who will protect him? Small like a garden gnome, who will select him? For the team, ball hockey everyday Yearns to play But they mock and keep away (It's Frail Dale) He dreams to be the best But he needs a few pounds of beef beneath the vest (It's Frail Dale) He deeks like Gretzky but his shots are weak He body checks too gently (It's Frail Dale) He can solve a riddle But he can't get involved cause his bones are brittle (It's Frail Dale) You'll forget he's there Too short to try most rides at the fair He'll cry with despair, cursed by his parents Both under 5'3", nice genes to inherit Pseudo-intellectuals doing the crosswords Say he'll grow out of it but they're still awkward (It's Frail Dale) Wants to play for the Avalanche Laughed and turned away cause he's soft as a Cabbage Patch (It's Frail Dale) Get's a date up on it But he's like a little brother so it stay platonic (It's Frail Dale) Dying for P.T So though he's fully grown, has to try as a Pee Wee Used to hang around, wanna ride with we three I put him in the basket of my bike like E.T [Interlude: Frail Dale whining] Don't "What is it with this kid?" [Outro: DJ Hunnicut] Yeah man. Frail Dale...what can I tell you about Frail Dale? Dale was alright you know but ah...yeah, looking back on that shit, I don't think we were very cool with Frail Dale. I mean ah, there were times when it would be like, recess...We'd be playing like A.W.A. and I always wanted to be Rock N Roll Buck Zomhofe. You know like, I wasn't the biggest dude...in school, but one things for sure is Frail Dale was definitely the smallest. And ah...so we'd be like playing A.W.A. and we'd be our favorite wrestlers and I'd always pick Rock N Roll Buck Zomhofe. I always wanted to be Rock N Roll Buck Zomhofe. Anyways, if I wanted to body slam someone, the only dude I could pick up was Frail Dale. So I'd always pick on him in the Battle Royales and I'd pick out Frail Dale. And ah, one time I just plum picked him up...and put him over my knee...and...Frail Dale just fucking broke in half. That's a true story. The end