Anguish

[Verse 1] I been conditioned since before I denied being a Christian In denial, on trial, I fire Entire worlds collapse with the weight of mere words Words construct a sanctuary that changes in a day In a way, it makes sense as dense images fade And I take time to forget the finer things in life Despite not understanding this numbing sensation I'll cave in probably before I'll prevail I'll excel pass places others promised to fail Success is subjective and dismantles the collective As remedies erase duality Dueling, ruining my blissful ignorance Refueling my renaissance I'm lost seeking to be found, listening for sound Wearing this crown façade proudly The proud be plaguing my insecurities As I nervously ask you to murder me It's sure to be an identity resurrection With childhood memories I keep on forgetting And this continued condition's proving contagious As I am Ethic and Ethic has become anguish [Chorus] Have you ever felt this way? Or am I the only one? Anguish has taken a place in my heart And all I can do is run away [Verse 2] Transform this child of the storm Scorned, as thorns scar my sight without unveiling itself Unconditional love seems to have guidelines Landmines placed on an already narrow trail Driven by desire to be driven by the third nail And somewhere in my walk I'm bound to pick myself up But if you give me your hand, I'll be eternally grateful While as a human I have trouble discerning what is distasteful I'm playful when it comes to matters of life and death First and last breath being taken and being left With the ability to hold truth to what I can accept And I know lust better than I know respect And I don't cuss, but that don't make your mind darker than mine I've seen the abyss and done things people would find Strange to say the least (deranged) feed the beast I've recently required a need to live in peace As footprints in the sand speak with the weight of words I live in the hourglass struggling to be heard And I've covered quiet land in search of language As I am Ethic and Ethic is anguish [Chorus] [Verse 3] Isolated stares into an island backdrop I can't stop considering where I'll be in a few Years from today with a new outlook on everything That at one time may have made a difference As major turns into minor, I give no resistance I'm a terrible witness and need not fake being convinced, it's Gonna work out, though I hold tight to the faith I have I've always been one to take too much of a bad thing I live in extremes and I'm not who I seem A cry for help need not play out traditional scenes Hiding behind laughter Held up by missed prayer of omega K4 is on plasma Watch as I shatter right here on this track Cause what I'm speaking today I wish I could take back And act like there's nothing compressing my brain Pretend like I'm happy and only ethic remains The fact is right now there's a lot to sort out I'm swimming in doubt and surviving on hope And I can live without an answer now if that's required But I feel this empire's been built on the guilt of its sire And reconstructions in order from the ground level A requiem for order, pierce me like metal Blades of awakening, beginning his banish As Ethic slowly separates from his anguish [Chorus x2]