Going Through Changes

[Hook] I'm going through changes I'm going through changes [Verse 1] Lately I really, feel like I'm rolling for delph like Philly Feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely Apologize if all that I sound like is I'm complaining But life keeps on complicating, and I'm debating on leaving this world this evening Even my girls can see I'm grieving, I try and hide it but I can't Why do I act like I'm all high and mighty When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help I can't do it by myself, too weak Two weeks I've been having ups and downs Going through peaks and valleys, dilly-dallying Around with the idea, of ending the shit right here I'm hating my reflection, I walk around the house trying to fight mirrors I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care? I give a fuck, only thing I fear, is Hailie I'm afraid if I close my eyes I might see her...shit [Hook] [Verse 2] I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, napping at noon Yeah dad's in a bad mood, he's always snapping at you Marshall what happened that you, you can't stop with these pills And you've fallen off with your skills, and your own fans are laughing at you It become a problem you're too pussy to tackle? Get up Be a man, stand, a real man would've had this shit handled Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed They say Proof just flipped out, homie just whipped out and bust Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that He wouldn't fuckin' shoot at, no-body, he fights first But dwelling on it only makes the night worse Now I'm popping Vics, Percs and Methadone pills "Yeah Em, tight verse, you killed it" Fucking drug dealers hang around me like yes men And they gonna do whatever I says when, I says it It's in their best interest to protect their investment And I just lost my fuckin' best friend, so fuck it, I guess then: [Hook (with Eminem)] (Don’t know what I’m going through, but I just keep on going through changes) [Verse 3] My friends can't understand this new me That's understandable man, but think how bananas you'd be You'd be an animal too If you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo And everybody's looking at you, what you want me to do? I'm starting to live like a recluse and the truth is Fame starting to give me an excuse, to be at an all-time low I sit alone in my home theater, watching the same damn DVD Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive And it hurts so I...fast forward, sleeping pills'll make me feel alright And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night I'll just take a couple more, yeah you're motherfuckin' right I ain't slowing down for no one, I am almost homeward bound Almost in a coma, yeah homie c'mon, dole 'em out "Daddy, don't you die on me; Daddy, better hold your ground!" Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice Yeah baby hold me down [Hook (with Eminem)] [Verse 4] Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes, but somehow I'm pulling through Swear when I come back I'mma be bulletproof I'mma do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few Facts, cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth Shit it just hit me that what if I would not have made it through I think about the things I would've never got to say to you I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do Hailie this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too I still love your mother, that'll never change Think about her every day, we just could never get it together Hey, wish there was a better way, for me to say it But I swear on everything, I'd do anything for her on any day There are just too many things to explain When it rains guess it pours, yes it does Wish there wasn't any pain, but I can't pretend there ain't I ain't placing any blame, I ain't pointing fingers Heaven knows I've never been a saint I know that it feels like we just pissed away our history And just today, I looked at your picture, almost as if to say I miss you subconsciously, wish it didn't end this way But I just had to get away, don't know why I don't know what else to say, I guess I'm [Hook (with Eminem)]