Can I Bitch (Canibus Diss)

[Intro] (I, I wanna grow up too) "Uncle Marshall, will you tell us a bedtime story?" Here we go! [Verse 1] Now, once upon a time not long ago There was a little rapper about to blow But his album came, and it was not good I think it went lead or double copper-wood So these silly little fans, they were misled By a nerdy Internet computer hip-hop head "Me and you, Clef, we're gonna make some cash." "Grab this silver paint and just paint my ass." Hey, mister, would you care to bear witness to The ass-whippin' I'm about to administer To this ass-kissin' little vaginal blister? Stanibus, little Marshall Mathers' sister And in this corner, we have the "Mr Not-Havin'-It," it's the Mad, sinister Dr. Evil, with his bag of tricks for This little antagonistic faggot Dick-sucking ex-LL Cool J fan from Windsor I'm 'bout to murder little Kenny-Fag-Kaniff-sta You bastard, I ain't wanna have to diss ya Canibus, where the fuck you at? I miss ya! [Hook] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch Wherefore art thou, Canibitch? Please tell me what happened with That style that you were rappin' with Canibitch, oh, Canibitch Are you from Los Angeles New York, or just a janitor From Canada? Oh, Canibitch [Verse 2] Now, at first, I ain't really understand this shit Picture me, for a second, and imagine it Chillin' in the Bat Mansion relaxin' when All of a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners, it's Canibitch, on some 'Stan Lives' shit It creeped me out at first; man, this is sick But me, bein' just as sick, this conflict Gets my dick harder than arithmetic And I know how you jealous ones envy I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me The first two letters, you were tellin' me shit like You respect me, like any other regular MC The third letter, you asked how come I ain't return None of the messages at Shady Records you left me The fourth letter: "Slim, you're really startin' to upset me." The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me The sixth letter, there's a bomb threat on our building This crazy motherfucker's really tryna kill me So I went back and read the first few letters that said Some shit about a message you left Oh shit! That's not a E, that's an A! This dude wants to leave me a 'massage,' he's gay! Right away, I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre "We got a bogey," "Marshall, I'm on the way." [Hook] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch Wherefore art thou, Canibitch? Please tell me what happened with That style that you were rappin' with Canibitch, oh, Canibitch Are you from Los Angeles New York, or just a janitor From Canada? Oh, Canibitch [Verse 3] So, in two seconds flat, Dre's at my crib Only thing is, we both know where this kid lives And neither one of us have Canadian citizenship "Shit. Oh, Dre, wait a minute, that's it! All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo-boost We can fly over the border!" "Let's Go!" [whoosh] So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed "What was that? Oh, Jermaine Dupri." "Fuck it," keep goin', no time to waste "Wait, back up. Hit him one more time, in case." "Okay," fuck, now he's draggin' under the car "Oh well, only thirty more thousand miles!" Meanwhile, me and Dre are tryna conversate Just tryna find a reason for the constant hate And tryna figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propane' "He couldn't have fell off that hard." Ain't no way! What happened to the way you was rappin' When you was scandalous? That Canibus turned into a television evangelist! Plus, he raps with his regular voice [Four impacts] "What was that?" "Pet Shop Boys." So, we pull up to the bridge where he last was spotted His corpse was still movin', but his ass was rotted And he kinda smelled a little like Courtney Love I figured if I stick him with a fork, he's done So I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin'—Christ! He won't die! This guy's like a battered wife! He's like Kim: he keeps comin' back for more But he won't fight back, I cracked his jaw Hold up! 'Bis, quit foldin' up! Punch me in the chest, make my shoulders touch Do something! At least one punchline! Come on! 'Til the meter reads Nine! Nine! Nine- Ty nine percent of my fans are blond! 'Bis, come on, answer me, man, respond! Tell me 'bout the sun, rain, moon and stars! Intergalactical metaphors from Mars! Raw to the floor, raw like Reservoir Dogs! Bite another line from Redman's song! Suddenly, the stub of a dead man's arm From a midget reaches out from under the car It's J.D.! This motherfucker won't die, neither! Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of ether We swamped the bitch in it; stomped the bitch again "Compton!" "Detroit, bitch, talk some shit again!" "Stomp him!" "Switch feet!" "Stomp him!" "Switch again!" "Dre, all right, he's dead, dog, quit kickin' him! I think Stanibus jumped off the bridge again!" ("Ahh!") "Damn," "He disappeared, yo, he's gone, he did it again!" [Hook] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch Wherefore art thou, Canibitch? Please tell me what happened with That style that you were rappin' with Canibitch, oh, Canibitch Are you from Los Angeles New York, or just a janitor From Canada? Oh, Canibitch