Find Yourself

He was a child of the 80's Used to bat his eyelashes smile at the ladies Sit a _ round single file like a crazy Boy with a small frame parents called him lazy Used to entertain himself his drawings were amazing Come up in the backyard trees for a gazing At the skies over Echo Park a live education Gunshots blazin he would hide in his _ Called imagination he would rise to occasion When it involved his interest and pride with no patience Kid couldn't wait used to steal what he wanted Learned Karma quick he could feel when he fronted Didn't feel good but he wanted to part of Didn't know behavior like this would be the start of Low self-esteem and a dream deferred Started makin stories didn't mean the word Writing became the art that he preferred He liked to assemble manipulate verbs He was shy and sprung Got took advantage of and didn't mind once Just a little boy feelin hurt like a man Played like a toy violin in her hand Mom used to take him to buy them some gifts Never once got him a kiss on the lips Homie got smashed on the floor when they dissed He liked girls young and he didn't know why Couldn't know himself yet couldn't even try... Teenager of the 90's Talent getting bigger but self-esteem tiny Found himself a little, squad or brigade Odd man out on the quad in the shade Started growin dreads cause he wanted to be different Didn't give a shit about the classes he was missin Sprung on a bad girl tension on a mission Life in peril on the path of addiction Started smokin cigarettes and weed out in _ Walkman bumpin didn't think he needed to listen To the teachers who gave him a ride home after school Tried to talk to him he was actin like a fool Wanted to be cool didn't want to be a mule All around wuss gettin told what to do Stupid young dude with his nuts in a vice Ended up having death threats on his life Fuckin homies girlfriends never felt worse So he dropped out of school started drinkin and at first It was fun felt good he was brave writed fast Rapped on a crew in a cabin in a path Livin in a studio not makin any cash Mom kicked him out straight dumped on his ass Smoking weed all day 16 on a fast Track to the grave couldn't know himself yet Now it's 96 Started puttin acid on his tongue to take a trip Made his first tape home made made a trip Was the hustle he was taught by his homies on the strip Telegraph laugh had a vibe you could feel Long island iced teas to survive with the steel In his hand on the stage he was scared to be real _ with a page he would hide on the field On the stage no yield Started poppin ecstasy beginning of the pills Killin of his energy it mentally appealed They were all experimenting but he thought he was healed Travelin the world in and out of any girl Livin like a rockstar at home he would curl In a ball on the floor could he fall any further Hell yeah heroin called and he heard emmm Now he didn't give a fuck Wasn't makin music cause he didn't give a fuck Had to get a fix or his body would be stuck More than down on his luck to the drug he was enslaved Didn't give a damn what his friends say Wanted to be done so he bowed to the sensai Surrendering rendering faith Found himself a program to pay for the dates Did his first show that was free of the drank Felt so proud self-esteem in the tank 3 years later putted music in the bank Tryin to make due for the god that he thanks Went through hell and he didn't know why Couldn't know himself yet now he's gonna try..