Grime (SPOKEN WORD)

I I'm Happy for you, say I with a grimace Tryin to maintain this smilin image Knowin you got there and I didn't In awe of your brilliance Respect of your spirit But it's too frequent Hertz when I hear that You been doing well through my lowest moment I'm hopeless I hope it's not to late to ask forgiveness Been inspectin from the distance as a witness at your successes that I shouldn't have been missing lately yet Reminiscing on how I was with You from the start now wishin I had stayed till the finish cuz We've become Too distance... Coming over used to be a tradition And one day coming over became a visit An unusual occasion Hook: Smiling... (smilin) While I'm... (while I'm) Tryin and trialing Survivin' yet I keep Spiralin' Down. Down down down II Tears in my dry eyes as I realize I Can't even cry anymore I don't get it Am i no longer sympathetic? Am I now indifferent? Even though we used to ride together I swear I remain driven But you do well without assistance. I'm barely afloat but You not even trying yet you still driftin And I'm revertin to the same rhymes and the same assonance Can't let go of shit. To say I'm not happy for your, I'd be lying But when will it be my turn to start flyin'? I'm happy for you, I really am But when will it be my turn to be that man? Insert Hook III To who is this written? In part a best friend that other friends suggested he be dejected from our friendship Aside from him? No one specific Just revealing my innermost insidious assessments mixed with The sense of knowin there is no sense to the happiness mixed with tinges of regret knowin' the basis for this description Is that if I really admit it... You're happy, and Ethan isn't Insert Hook IV And I feel like everytime you advance you abandoned the man who stood with you through all the bad and It happens so swiftly it feel like it was planned Telling me maybe when I ask you "Where you at? Come over man." And my insecurities tell me the reason for that response text without a second glance from you that you don't know makes me frantical is so if anyone you perceive to be better than me calls, you gonna say you not busy and leave me on the street And one day you gonna be in a different social circle and you won't need to fuck with petty peasants such as me Insert Hook V And I feel like every time I move up you move up 5 times more I'd be satisfied being beside you, enough, I'd desire no more But I'm not starting at the bottom, I'm at the earths core Why is it that the people we love are the ones hurt the worst? And I do some thing of worth and your actions overturn It because what you did surpassed it And I feel like you don't know But maybe you do You've rubbed it in a time or too I put more time and effort on all my music But you the one that Polk county stays viewin I'm a victim of human imperfection Why do I feel guilt why am I a villain When all I ever did was help your progression? There's a word I'm looking for when your eyes sting and you smile and you feel nostalgic and melancholy and twinges of regret but you don't know what you regret and incontent yet in love and there is a sense of resentment but it is hard to admit that one and you yearn for something more than the situation you currently are in and your eye keeps twitching' they betray you cuz your face looks so conflicting and the minute they look away your expression gets so listless and you want to go to a different location in the soonest possible minute, but you just hug them and say congratulations Outro: Who am I? I'm jealousy Sowing distrust in friendships And destroying the nation