Formulaic

[Dr. Awkward] [Verse 1] I was sent on a quest to save the seven sages In five different temples off in far off places Walked the twisted corridors within the woods Reconnected with a spirit from my childhood Then I braved a volcano to save a race Of rock people from a lava dwelling fire snake Then I sank to the depths out in Lake Hylia Face-to-face with myself and a cursed amoeba And then things got a bit strange Killed a Cyclops bongo playing shadow thing And then I trekked through the desert of the Haunted Lands And fought the witches in the temple of the storming sand The last Sheikah, the seventh sage Brought along the return of a familiar face And after all that adventure I have to say This whole climax feels a bit cliché [Hook] X 2 One, bad guy kidnaps a princess Two, princess is kept in a castle Three, hero arrives for the princess Four, turns into big old fiasco [Verse 2] I mean you've got to admit this seems so peculiar Castle, princess Seems all too familiar Blond hair, helpless Pink dress of lace I know I've seen it somewhere But can't seem to place it Master of Time not a charming prince Sorry for the attitude but this makes no sense I mean Zelda was a ninja dude Not to mention the Triforce of Wisdom too Kidnap a princess lock her away And play an ominous piano like a giant cliché Got Master Sword and some arrows of light You finally transform and try to make it a fight Too little too late as any evil will learn Banished to the dark realm with no means of return [Hook] X 2 One, Bad guy kidnaps a princess Two, Princess is kept in a castle Three, Hero arrives for the princess Four, Turns into big old fiasco