Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk-Act Three Scene Seven

At the police station. The sergeant and the policeman - 20 to 24 men - are sitting around idly and despondently. SERGEANT The police were formed, so we are told, when the Pharaohs ruled in days of old, how then in our enlightened civilisation can men exist without a police station? SERGEANT and POLICEMEN But for all our application We receive but tribulation, They pay us most unfairly and good bribes are offered rarely. SERGEANT Where could we make the extra bob, If we didn't fiddle on the job? POLlCEMEN Where could we make the extra bob, if we didn't fiddle on the job? SERGEANT Sun and moon in turn give light, the stars they twinkle but at night. POLICEMEN Hey! SERGEANT But a policeman's always on the job, come rain or tempest, drought or fog. SERGEANT and POLICEMEN But for all our application we receive but tribulation, they pay us most unfairly and good bribes are offered rarely. SERGEANT Where could we make the extra bob, if we didn't fiddle on the job? POLICEMEN Where could we make the extra bob, if we didn't fiddle on the job? SERGEANT That's why a sergeant vigil keeps all night and why his aspect is a dreadful sight, to cause in nihilists fear and agitation, preserving peace and quiet for the nation. But for all our application we receive but tribulation, they pay us most unfairly and good bribes are offered rarely! POLICEMEN Hey! And for all, hey, our, hey, application, hey, hey, we receive, hey, but, hey, tribulation, hey! Hey! They pay us, hey, hey, most unfairly, hey, and good, hey, bribes, hey, hey, are offered, hey, rarely! SERGEANT Where could we make the extra bob, if we didn't fiddle on the job? POLICEMEN Where could we make the extra bob, if we didn't fiddle on the job? SERGEANT There's a real feast now at the Ismailov's, that hussy's getting married and she hasn't invited me. I'll get even with her, for getting married without the authorities. I'll get even with her, for getting married without the authorities. POLICEMEN That's right, we'll all get even with her! SERGEANT If only we had a pretext, although a pretext can always be found. POLICEMEN That's right, one can always be found. A policeman enters leading a teacher. The teacher looks scared. The policeman and the sergeant jump to their feet and start looking interested. POLICEMAN I've caught a socialist. POLICEMEN A! I! O! U! Y! Ho, ho, ho! SERGEANT Ho, ho, ho! POLICEMAN He says, your honour, he doesn't believe in God. TEACHER God does ... exist... SERGEANT to the teacher Shut up! POLICEMEN Ho, ho, he! POLICEMAN And he talks about frogs... SERGEANT What frogs? TEACHER I started wondering why only man should possess a soul and why frogs shouldn't have one too. So I took a frog and examined it. SERGEANT Well? TEACHER It has a soul, only a very small one and it's not immortal … SERGEANT Lock him up! TEACHER Sorry, God does exist, God does exist! POLICEMEN Ho, ho, ho! The policemen take the teacher away and then return. SERGEANT That's that. Silence again and an air of boredom. The police were formed, so we are told... But there's a real feast now at the Ismailov's. POLICEMEN Ah! SERGEANT That's where we'd get something good, only we've no excuse for going! Ah! Enter shabby peasant. SHABBY PEASANT Your honour! SERGEANT What do you want? SHABBY PEASANT Something's happened... SERGEANT What's happened? SHABBY PEASANT At the Ismailov's... SERGEANT At the Ismailov's? Ho, ho! POLICEMEN Ho, ho, ho! SHABBY PEASANT There's a corpse in the cellar... POLICEMEN Ho, ho, ho! The policemen and the sergeant get up and cheerfully set off. SERGEANT What a godsend! POLICEMEN Ho, ho, ho! SERGEANT Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, then we'll have no cause to worry, won't get blamed for inattention in a serious situation! POLICEMEN Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, then we'll have no cause to worry, won't get blamed for inattention in a serious situation! SERGEANT Quicker, quicker, quicker, quicker, we might get free food and liquor, stuff ourselves until we're sick, so we'll hurry, hurry quick! POLICEMEN Quicker, quicker, quicker, quicker, we might get free food and liquor, stuff ourselves until we're sick, so we'll hurry, hurry quick!