The Packet Man

Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets today? [Yo, B, don't be pullin' on my jacket, ok?] Cool, just trying to get your attention So you can take a look at this invention Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket [Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh: sex packets It's like a pill, you can either chew it up Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup And get this: see the girl on the cover? You black out, and she becomes your lover [You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic [Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics] Wrong again, my man, this is way more real But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man [Well now you got me curious, I'm kinda thinkin bout buyin it] Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it [Well what exactly do I get?] Well read what it says, look at the picture [Bet It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33 Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splurge an Get me a few of these things. How long do they last?] Well it depends, let's see These cheap ones here are ten minutes But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour And these here sell for bout 40 Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy] Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack It's cool, take a packet fool Biochemically compacted sexual affection Now here, take a look at my selection Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man [OK, I want these two boxes of three And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy And, by the way, I need something for my woman] Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em] Now let me tell you how to take it: Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean? This is more then just a dream It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind So be careful: only take one at a time And never take one behind the wheel You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal] These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10 Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even But don't pull your money out yet, see There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool 20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove] Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again And remember, you need to be as safe as you can There's only one thing safer then using your hand Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man Yeah he's the packet man