The Thrill Is Gone - June 17th 2014

I am wordless and without rhyme I choose to avoid any sort of technical limitation right now I’ve aged disproportionately I reach out to others, but there is only so far I can go They must clasp I think a root may be that I am only partially broken I could use some help but can function without any Maybe it would be best if that demolition were completed I try not to have multiple personalities, but I feel I cannot help my chameleon friendships I hope this being scattered will help you peer inside my dilemma Sadness is superior to feeling nothing I feel most alive when I’m depressed I wonder if it’s better to fall back into the world I once knew The one of sports, video games, and lighthearted edginess But I’m cursed to feel incomplete in that life And in this one, the melancholy one I always fear that I will be exposed to the wrong person And that they will hurt me I’m conscious of the sound of my typing, the skinniness of my fingers My veins popping out of my hands as usual The digital age owns me My most stable friendships are with people I have never met But what I hate most about this era is that it has created the fear of nothingness I used to never be able to fall asleep Now, I cannot fall asleep in silence My whole life is kind of to theme music I’d say what I hurt most of is feeling like a waste That I have so much to share and no one to share it with Often, I feel that my dreams of relationships get in the way of friendships This is raw My condolences if I’m sounding corny But one you’re in the story, you know it’s real I value sincerity above everything else It took me a long time to find the right word for it It’s not even night time right now I’ve finally found out how I want to distribute this And the timestamps will be at the end It’s 6:31 PM right now It would be dark if it was winter You know that feeling you get when you watch too much TV or play too much video games? That burning sensation in your eyes Where you don’t know whether to sleep (because it hurts) or to carry on I have that feeling both literally and figuratively, this very moment Until I feel another wave I think I’ll sleep, literally, now Current Anthem: Kurt Kobain by Proof Adjective: Gaunt