Addictions

[Verse 1] Arguments and arguments that’s what I always hear every day My brother comes back home from school and always asks to play So sick and tired of this, this has been going on for too long Ongoing problem that’s so serious that I had to make it into a song He be on the computer for the whole day playing League of Legends You might lol to that, but this is way serious, the whole fam sickened He used to do this with all kinds of video games like Halo and Call of Duty Sometimes I wonder how he can’t get bored, he needs to do his duties Whenever I hear my parents arguing with Justin I immediately know What they are talking about, it makes my emotions attitude low Always negotiating with my mom about having more game time Signing paper contracts saying how he’ll do stuff but it isn’t on his mind He says he would do chores, read, babysit, or write but he never does Cause he be lying through his teeth, he just tryna get what he loves Just like drugs, he realizes this is an addiction but he can’t admit it He argues that our fam is supposed to help him out but that’s not it Cause God don’t give us anything we can’t handle, getting over the hunch Wake up in the morn early to play not eating breakfast, dinner, or lunch Scream, yell, shout when he’s annoyed or doesn’t get it putting up a fight Our fam wonders what his purpose is or what he’s going to do in life And even afterwards he keeps on researching, streaming, or thinking it He claims he’ll have discipline and responsibility but never practices it He be switching game time and carrying over a whole next years’ time Never satisfied, and now my baby brother is learning from those times Play and play with failing grades, like that’s what he wants in life Mister slave, guess if he loves it that much he should make it his wife Using real money, buying all these equipment, playing like no tomorrow I wonder when reality will hit him, so cruel it might send him into sorrow [Verse 2] But now it’s me for my problems and addictions Youth group nicknamed it McDonalds but I’m a say it straight up masturbation Started near the end of elementary, but weird I discovered it myself Then entering teenager years of puberty, hormones be reacting itself Touching myself in places and squirting all up on my leg and body Sinfulness, check up on my mind and hands asking why am I so dirty On the internet I get every shape and size I want, feeling so far gone Or I could be fantasizing inside my head, thinking about it for so long Afterwards my mind clears and I always ask myself why I did it I never feel any good afterwards, sick to my stomach and bones, I hate it Tissues, papers, and blankets be my covers, hiding away the evidence Also deleting internet histories, my family don’t even know about it Temptation be taking control, I am no longer the master but the slave Shooting up like a fiend, I feel like such an animal I feel so ashamed I can’t stop it, sometimes I just wanna cut or rip off my water hose off That way I can stop dealing with this horrible habit that I can’t stop Hard, long, soft, penetration, those words be triggering the gutter Mind all jacked up and twisted when I hear words or 69, my sewer Lust inside my heart, my conscience would be screaming and shouting Turning women into objects, this is no different from multiple lovings [Verse 3] On to the next one, now about my castle in the sky No difference from smoking, with my fantasy I’d be up so high Uh, day dreaming my life away, I’d be thinking too much I might as well just live inside my head, can’t clean this muck Always rambling, talking, blogging, chatting, and writing About all this desultory and useless things, all of this is so tiring I guess I don’t have any reason to live if I could live it in my mind Everything that I wish will come true, all of it perfect in my eyes Take me away from this cruel and cold world, take me somewhere far Into the pages, into the story, into the game, out towards the stars Started from a very young age, just shooting and playing small hoops Thinking basketball thoughts, Today’s Kids yellow, red, white, and blue Why I hate and love myself, I’m creative but it can get out of control Anxiety, hopefully I can stop this addiction before I get too old I know my imagination is strong, but enough is enough Is it a curse or a gift, just my luck I guess I seem to have it rough These dreams and wild thoughts stresses me so I could kill myself Point a gun up towards my head, then blow my brains out of myself Worries and details of the future haunt me so I never focus on the present Burden to my body, heart, and soul, give me a mind wipe this instant [Outro] I always say and stress the fact of how I wanna detoxify people But in fact I’m so intoxicated that I’m the one who really needs to be detoxified Time won’t solve these issues, I gotta start fixing myself now Or else it’s gonna get even worse I wanna tell people that this is what I overcame Yeah Uh