Dear Abby

Dear Abby Got a problem... I'm a decent, underpaid, hard-working county coroner It's important that my family eats meat at least three times a week But we just can't afford to with prices the way they are So I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects Just mix in the Tuna Helper and ta-da! Dear Abby Got a problem... The whole family things my new meals are delicious They ask me "what's your secret?" Abby, I think they're getting suspicious My smart-ass eight year old keeps asking "Where's all the meat?" The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge If they find out the truth, I don't think they'll understand Abby, what do I tell my family? Dear Reaganomics victim Consult your clergyman Make sure the body's blessed And everything should be just fine