Candyman

[Verse 1: Darwin Deez] She's halfway in graph, with the face of Angela Chase I call her red, she said it's called Crimson Glow though, safe Hope we get a chance to share some really real moments So many times, girls and I just end up opponents But I want to be on the same side of the bed she lays her head on I want to stay the same guy, and be with her until she's dead and gone See, these raps just come out of me, like the way emotions do My flows go on and on forever, like the way some oceans do So I flow for you, tight, like airport security On some, take your shoes off before you rap, and don't hurry me Don't worry, be happy, easier said than done Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai, you and I are not we, but one That ass was fat lied, on some existential abyss shit Had it, lost it, miss it, make me want to slit my wrists, shit Why are we so drawn to the smell of sex and candy Ryan and Marissa, Summer and Seth, Kirsten, Cohen, and Sandy [Verse 2: Donovan Deez] I'm bi-polar, my starry nights quickly turn solar I hope this change in light won't ruin my chance to get to know her She wants me to be the man, but I'm still quite pre-pubescent Half the time I'm with her, I'm distracted, my mind's not present She told me once that I was sensitive and understanding That I'm the guy she wants; simple, smart, not too demanding But by myself, I'm sick and twisted, my head's in the gutter If I don't love myself, how can I learn to love another She's a cute girl, I'm so obtuse that she completes me Like a lamb to the slaughter, she's meek and so unlikely to flee Her scent is sweet, her hands are warm, I'm waking from my coma But now I have cavities in my nose, I need a new aroma With a laugh like that, she could even make Bill Murray cheerful Now she's ready for things to move forward, I'm so fearful Tonight I'll tell her all these thoughts that I've been thinking But I'm not sure it'll help, since this love boat's already sinking [Verse 3: Darwin Deez] I like to go to Federation Space on the weekends Deanna Troi fees me bok choy from the Replicator Which I savor, up until the hip-hop beat ends We talk about my feelings And she takes me to the Holodecks and she can Sense whenever I think about some "holo-sex" Holographic, pornographic sex thoughts weaken the mind Ship's counselor Shit, I want to bounce with her Order Synthehol on Ten-Forward, I should pounce on her That's what Guinan told me I should do, and she's a wise man But, she's half Betazoid, you can't be surprised, man Trying to get at the heart of the matter, though I'm trying to get at the heart of this girl I'm after, so Start to chat her up I try to resist but can't help but look at her butt I hope she act a slut in the bedroom Enough headroom on the cut, that's cause I recorded it well I came hard cause the whore did it well, I mean the lady [Verse 4: Darwin Deez] Third verse, I do the worst, than the other two do I watch my videos on TooDo Unlike views expressed by other YouTube users This shit is really, really, really, really profound As in, it was professionally discovered As in, an orphan, that finally found his mother This is Baba Ram Dass murdering a Red Hat, running Windows The shitty raps you wrote, you should bend those Yo, Linus from Charlie Brown is actually the dude that wrote Linux He wrote it in C+, Lucy's advice is inex- 'Pensive, but not worth shit She takes Charlie's balls away That was deep, in a stupid way Way, way more irresponsible than Himanshu Suri Plus shorty said I'm girly She's probably just jealous of my Baha But surely Tom-Kat'd be surly if I stole Suri Cruise, 'kay Katie's firstborn Scientology dues, pay Katie singing Scientology blues, gay This aggression will not stand, like The Dude say Shouts to DR, like from Haiti, on holiday Love, like from Amy to The Zutons, Valerie Radio-1 Live, Lounge Lizards, Larry John, Arto Lindsay DNA, Darwin Deez, Bad Day, everyday Ice Cube's AK stays, on safety on a good day But yo, man, I got more bling than [?]'s ear, ring-a-ding Get the door, the florist's here 1-800-FLOWERS from Kanye Perfect, for when you're not humble enough to say, "I'm sorry" Or, when your mom died