Press Conference

[Danny! talking] Good evening ladies and gentleman I've called this press conference today To address a number of questions That I'm sure a lot of you have of me Uh, yes I'm signed to Def Jux now Uh, yes I went to the Grammys last year Ummmm, no I don't get a lot of love Outside of the two or three people that know about me Now that that's out of the way I'd like to address anybody that's got any questions...ummm... [Verse 1] Yes, you in the three-piece? "I purchased your first three albums But how do I find your beat CDs?" Beats me; of course you COULD start down Limewire Avenue Turn east on Kazaa Street and beep the horn at the main center And tell 'em D. Swain sent ya "Is it true you went to the Grammmys Off of the strength of 'Charm'?" Yes, I just extended my arm I looked and saw my name on the ballot But not enough votes were gained or tallied Sad story, should've been nominated For the "Overlooked MC" category "Did you really get expelled for making 11 G's Changing student's grades from F's to B's?" Umm, next question please "Hey yo Dan I'm your biggest fan but listen man I'm tryin' to be like you! What's your secret to success?" Jesus, sleep and sex Next? Yes, you in the orange blazer "I think you shouldn't joke on your views of our Lord and Savior" Who's jokin' homie? My relationship with God is great Although I did exaggerate: I haven't had sex since '98 Wait [Chorus: *scratches by Danny!*] - 2X "Split second I'm answering all questions..." - Ms. Jade "N-n-niggas don't know but they front and don't ask..." - Mos Def "...ya-ya-ya-ya need to ask me" - The Notorious B.I.G "It's the questions, c'mon..." - Common [Verse 2] "What happened, thought you was managed by some lady at Sony?" You know some ladies are phony, they try to play a jabroni Homie I, might've jumped the gun but she could've called me No hard feelings here but she's probably tryin' to blackball me, damn "Well how do you feel about it?" I'm gonna keep it real: I doubt it made a major difference Ain't like I'm what the game's been missin' Booth-attacker, wack producer/rapper, slash attempted hacker Nah, I wouldn't have sold; my record would've went fools' gold "Well what about the Def Jux deal now?" I hope that it goes well so please wish me the best of luck for real now Scared to put my future into somebody else's hands with somebody else's plans Damn, somebody help this man "Do you wanna get signed or don't you?" Only if the money's right My money's tight, I beg for table scraps on every Sunday night But I ain't Marmaduke or Scooby-Doo, I paid a lot of Scooby dues So Scooby Dooby Don't you try to screw me, dude [Chorus] [Verse 3] "Why come yo' name never gets mentioned?" The game is payin' attention but dang I think I'm goin' insane listenin To the pub these others rappers get My album made the Grammy shortlist, but I guess nobody gave a shit "Well what'cha gonna do about it?" Either take another breather Or just take consumers hostage, brandishin' my mother's heater Lead 'em into my basement, my cassette tape taped to their hands And stand on a box and scream at 'em ("take this!") "How come you and so-and-so ain't never collaborate?" I'd love to elaborate, but maybe next Saturday, I don't Hate 'em, I just sour-grapes 'em; takes a man to keep it movin' Keep pursuin' my dreams, elitists keep on snoozin' "You think you'll ever get the props you feel you deserve?" Before that, I'll probably fuck around and join the Reserves Or enlist in the French Legion, sit on the bench with heathens Heavin' smoke from a peace pipe before niggas say "D's tight" Yes, you in the back? "I think what you're doing is wack In fact this track'll never get burn This conference has taken a nasty turn" Um, please put your statement in the form of a question Four minutes left in this informative session Any more need addressin'? Didn't think so