I Need A Publicist

[Chorus] I need a publicist Cause I wanna be famous I'm tryin' to get my name in the press And let the world know I'm dangerous And on the mic, you can't fuck with this Yeah, I need a publicist [Verse 1] Don't pay attention to these rappers with record deals, spendin' the cheese I want the world to pay attention to me South Carolina's prince of peace, cause on the piece I don't leave no prints Blow a hole in your weak defense Forget that gunplay wordplay I'm tryin' to get a deal before my 22nd birthday It falls on a Thursday Bad press can't hurt me, I'll take the gritty route Pull a Lil' Kim and walk around with my titty out At the VMA's, I'd front like I was datin' LisaRaye But I can't, cause I think that she's engaged Fuck it, I'll drink an E&J with Tina Fey And do an interview the next day with Rex Hayes My next phase is to get on Maury On TV, cryin' with some pitiful story 'bout How Halle Berry be stalkin' me And the 12-year-old girl I got caught with last week [Danny! talking] How was I supposed to know She said she was 20 Shoot, I don't card ID, I'm not a bar I'm tryin' to get famous man, this is hard work [Chorus] [Verse 2] What better way to get my name in the paper Than to be a mile high on a plane with a razor Stop, chill, don't be scurred man Cause you got the wrong cat, I ain't wearin' a turban My words can, have my ass up on the front page Tomatoes thrown at me when I run up on stage But I remain unfazed I'm still tryin' to have my face printed on the cover of Blaze I'm 'bout to give my baby mother a raise I'll make the hooker happy cause she got me eight bookings last week That's what I call using your head Addicted to limelight, if I lose it I'm dead You know? I think I'll fake my own funeral Or maybe not, because nobody would show So when they say a word for the dearly departed I'll hop out the coffin like "yeah, bitch!" My rap career's started [Danny! talking] The last one was a little bit over the top, I admit it I'm just trying to do whatever it takes though man I'm trying to be famous out this muthafucka For real [Chorus] [Verse 3] I'm trying to be hip-hop's next media darling With VH1 specials on at three in the morning I'm heeding a warning: my black star's so bright You gotta wear shades when you see me performin', but Self-promotion is so hard I'm sick of stickin' my stickers on Decker Boulevard I need to hire somebody to book my shows And help me get exposure cause I took my flows And my beats to the top, man I love this shit You know? I think I gotta get a publicist But until then, I'll still be payin' my dues Signing autographs dressed in a tin-man suit, what [Danny! talking] Tin-man suit? Dang, I hope I don't sound too desperate or nothin' Yo word up man, I was in the phone book the other day And I looked up "publicist" in the yellow pages And I must've dialed the wrong number or somethin' They was like, "hello, welcome to Spanky's Pizza & Oysters" or somethin' [Chorus] I need a publicist y'all For real, I'm just tryin' to get signed Tryin' to get a deal For real D. Swain, one time, let's go