Halftime

[Intro] Look at me! Dan Bull in your area My neck has never been hairier [Verse 1] All work and no play makes Dan a dull man So I took business and pleasure, and had them hold hands I monetise my hobbies, I like computer games Rap music, anime to making up stupid names Now I can work sixteen hours a day And have sixteen hours of play Hop in the shower and straight to bed I make the competition shake their head Like a wet dog in disbelief seeing what they can get But come the best at the thing you love best And the rest is elementary, umm yes, unless You fail to put the work in, shirking Jerking yer gherkin then derpin', you're undeserving Put in the effort and see, how little effort you need To achieve things effortlessly It's halftime [Hook] It's halftime Put the kettle on It's hafltime Put the kettle on [Verse 2] I bang the beat like a cattle drum I quit weed when the nettle stung But I'll never settle some Blast with a special tongue I want to rap on every record spun And set a record for the rapper with the sexiest bum Is there anyone better? Man, I reckon there's none But genetically I'm repping my mum That's where I get my creativity from She done brung up a son well, didn't she, chum? When she discovered a bun in the oven, things changed Quit her career to rerun this kid, raised Him to be creative, gave him instruments to play with And pen and paper he could lyrically slay with I know I say the word 'lyrically' too much But that's just because I'm lyrically too much I never keep my privileges subdued, hush I'm not flossin', I didn't bring my toothbrush I'm ruthless, like a convertible Spectacularly secular, you're not convertable I do my work in full while I'm on the doll In adversity, I'm the first to be the one to fold But I still picked a university, I didn't like it Spending time alone learning this is my shit I'm a lone ranger that'll occasionally collaborate And grab a taste of books and open on a random page I hate to stand on stage, I'm not a spectacle My view on me is that perform is unrespectable So I sit at home, building up my text of walls I've never scratched a deck, I sit and scratch my testicles Best of all, I can work in my underpants The last boss I did that to denied another chance I was out on my own, the way I like it Spending time alone, learning this is my shit [Hook] It's halftime Put the kettle on It's halftime Put the kettle on [Verse 3] Knock, knock! Who's there? It's only Daniel Bull That funny rapper with the cracking in his mandible Maybe I'm becoming Jaws, is that woman yours? I'm not predatory but she possesses stunning orbs Ask your mother: is it sons-in-law or son-in-laws I'm not bothered, I just want to rummage in her drawers There's something in her form that makes me cuddly and warm A fuzzy feeling in between my knees, I want to be adored Hah! I'm the Ian Brown of rap, I like the sound of that I'm the reason that they put my friggin' town on maps So unless you pubs got some Nut Brown on tab It's not particularly likely I'll be out my flat I'll be at home working, putting the work in I'm covering another thing, I'm like a merkin That's urban for stealing the show I'm so sorry Nastradamus for stealing your flow I'm really feeling it though, it's exceedingly dope But even so, I'm eager for a wee, I need to go [Outro] It's still halftime To the Severn Bridge To the people responsible for the maintenance of the Severn Bridge It's still there; you must be doing alright It's halftime