Ten Rap Commandments

[Verse 1: Crooked I] I've been underground for years, it made me a monster Fuck one artist, I'll ghostwrite for your whole roster Whether they backpackers, finger snappers or mobsters I'll give 'em sound advice, make 'em sound nice Number 1, you got to be slick with the tongue Like lesbians and lawyers when you spit with the drums How you gonna be sick with the spit if you dumb Sharp wit is just as important as wind in your lungs Number 2, come up with different rhyme schemes and rhythms I'm 'posed to rhyme with rhythm in this line but see I'm Changing up the pattern but a rhyme I still give 'em Like that one in this bar, you follow me so far Number 3, don't give all your raps away for free Unless it's a promo or unless you're me No 401Ks and no pension I know platinum rappers who can't afford to pay attention Now did I mention number 4? I know you heard this one before Get your cash right before your ass go to war Cause beefing on wax could turn into them gats clapping Better have a good answer when the captain asked you what happened Number 5, don't take this hobby light, copyright Don't be sloppy because if you tight somebody probably bite I've been bitten in the past by artists you probably like But they didn't rock it right, bite me now we gotta fight Number 6, if the beat sound pathetic, forget it You won't move the crowd unless you telekinetic Number 7, business and your bitch don't mix Baby mama managing you ain't the shit since a twist She see you taking flicks with them big titty chicks Then she fix you, put a dent in your chips, sink your ship Number 8, if you wear a lot of jewels, keep your tools The chain-snatching fools, they ain't playing by the rules Number 9, don't put yourself in the position Cause hip hop cops listen to everything you're spitting Write a song about yesterday's shit, man you tripping Rap about real niggas' pitching, you dry snitching Number 10, it's something known as a contract Without a lawyer that could penetrate your ass crack Have you on the bus, yeah you and your gold plaque Record companies pimping every ho on the whole track Follow these rules, you could become that nigga Make history like Biggie and make a wax figure Or lyrically be compared to hottest rap spitters Perhaps get an endorsement deal and stack chippers Bag strippers two at a time like Jack Tripper Keep your clothes fly like pants that don't lack zippers I don't know, maybe be that wack nigga Either way it go, I'll be back nigga "1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9" - Chuck D It's the ten rap commandments