Jessica Alba's Number

When I'm watching TV, girls are all I see They're singing and dancing and acting and modelling None of them would look at me If I went to Jessica Simpson, she'd think I was an ignoramus And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz, she'd say Get lost boy I'm famous All the women round here have B.O or they have rolls Some lucky bloke right now is probably hugging Beyonce Knowles If I had Jessica Alba's number I'd call her right up And I'd ask her what she's doing at half past 3 And then I'd ask her if she'd marry me If I had Jessica Alba's number I'd be the luckiest guy in the world I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe And then some dick would try and steal her purse So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone And I'd say Hey Mister leave Jessie Alone If I had Jessica Alba's Number (x4) Fit girls get shot in films, I'm always in tears I'd like to go see Toy Story 2 with just me and Britney Spears She'd say Hit me baby one more time And I'd say No way Britney, domestic violence is a crime I like the one from Show Girls, when shes dancing round them poles Or the really, really fit one who sings in the Pussycat Dolls I've nearly got a moustache, and they still wouldn't talk to me Kate Winslet naked in Titanic, or the lesbian from The O.C If I had Jessica Alba's number I'd call her right up And I'd ask her what she's doing at half past 3 And then I'd ask her if she'd marry me If I had Jessica Alba's number I'd be the luckiest guy in the world I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe And then some dick would try and steal her purse So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone And I'd say Hey Mister leave Jessie Alone If I had Jessica Alba's Number (x4) If I had Jennifer Lopez's number Or Kate Nash's number Or the girl that was in Transformers's number Or Jessica Alba's number