Confessional

[Verse 1] My face has had more hits than MySpace That's why my nose is crooked and leans sideways All because I'm hard headed Used to be inside the bar gettin' hard liquor Just maxin' my card limit Was missin' my ex girlfriend and it Felt like the world ended Started blackin' out, the days of when I'd hurl, finished So in Colorado and Kansas I got jumped cause my dumbass had swolled bottles of Xanax Quit drinkin' and takin' pills and all those problems would vanish That's what happened with Icon but I won't argue semantics In '09, I've dealt with way too many natural losses In March, my new girl dumped me Fuck it, I'm past it, I'll chalk it Then just when I was able to laugh it off, nauseous Last May, my mom passed away from natural causes Bad enough in June all month I'm reminded my dad's gone all day Now what, I gotta write a song called May? Guess that's life a bigger problem, just another day I lost my dad the month of Father's Day My mom the month of Mother's Day Now grandpa's sick, I dont know what the fuck to say [Hook] I step off stage and I'm the only one Mom and pops had an only son No fans, just a man findin' freedom in truth Spend my soul in a confession booth [Verse 2] I am a sinner saved by the grace of God At 31 years of age, countless tears are on my face How am I here, I'm amazed; I've been scraped and scared I lost both parents, but hey, pray both spirits are safe I hope they are okay but God's still got my sister and grandparents But grandpa's got cancer and I can't bare it They say the chemo's shrinken it, can't think of it not workin' They say meds help his pain, but of his brain, I'm not certain It's been four months without my best friend (mom) My mom was always in my corner, even when I was arrested Even, when I was in the wrong she'd defend me But she's with God now believe you me, I'm green with envy (of both) I can't believe my life some times, I need to write some rhymes Keeps me sane when everything else isn't quite sublime My sweet mother used to keep to me in line Any women who reminds me of her I need by my side They say seek and you'll find, Believe me if tried And I won't stop She can be my wife and I can be my own pops Reincarnated, finished cheating Never understood what gives men a reason for woman beating Not saying that my dad did it Maybe once he wasn't bad with it But the one time he did it left a bad image So I've learned from other peoples mistakes And tried to learn from evil they've placed On people I've faced Yup, these are the breaks But sometimes the parts are too broken To grab a tube of super glue and stick the pieces in place (confessional) [Hook] [Verse 3] Im trying to do with ought my selfish ways but All I can think about is my self today See I owe it to myself, but I dont know if I can go within my self And make changes like sobering myself The irony, The higher I can see, I'm lowering my health Plus it's cold up in my cell and there's no one here to help Yeah I served a little time for a DUI See you drink, but they don't wanna see you drive "Officer, they don't have slumber parties at the bar So pardon me if rum and Bacardi Breezer is in my car" And I can make claims that alcohol isn't my main thing Yet I'm the one sitting with lemon squeezed in my gray drink Fuck, I had a stressful year Quite a eventful and regretful year I had to shed some tears I had to grab some liquor, I had to get some beer To get some clear thoughts to fuckin get me here Hit this fork in the road; Lookin' back losing all that I know And then lookin' forward, what more do I know? I know pain-addiction-pain-death-pain Took the right path slowed down and said bye to the left lane Cause life in the fast lane was stifle and mad strange Vicodin mad canes, try to lighten my past pains But my habits could end my life in a bad way