Just To Be Different

[Verse 1: Controversy] I be seeking love in the wrong places For ages, tryna' break from the mental cages Depressed and the days when I never had a placement Total desolation enlaced in the hazes Despised by the hated, beat more than cases Scorned from the faces, pitied from the gracious Tears from my eyes used to form shallow puddles Misunderstood so I lived in rebuttal Guess I deserved it, the pain from the purges Immersed in the hurt, I was cursed, never perfect Questioned my purpose on Earth, and my surface Trying to explain all my ways wasn't worth it Seen as the man abnormally weird Chastised by the peers, and was judged from the stares I was tryna' get up, but they ain't give a hand So I went to river, but it ain't give a damn [Verse 2: Controversy] I seen my brother breath to his last breath Eighteen tryna' suck in everything that wasn't left When the rain comes down it pours But that's the only time I feel at ease so I pray to God for more So I get high, hoping that the pain subside But most days, I sit by myself and cry I used to search for the love that my heart deprived But the bliss used to leave soon as it arrived Outcast of the masses, so I been a standout Took a new road, but it led to the same route Brawl with my conscious, life wasn't honest Agony was common, and pain was the problem Same rain, same pain just a different day Same hurt, same tears just a different way Everything was good, but it changed with a venue Malady pursued, and the saga continues [Verse 3: Controversy] The grand pessimist, president of depression Insecurities and obscurity was evident Never had any type of game all along But the game for the insincere, tell me if I'm wrong They say they love me, but it's only cause of fame All they know is Controversy, they don't even know my name All they do is show me love, they don't know about the pain All they see is sun and clouds, they don't know about the rain They don't know about the ways, dark nights and cold days Cause' what's a perfect picture when you lacking the frame Life cold like the steel held in your palm You ever had your own homie die in your arms Dudes can't say nothing bout' feeling pain Cause I done felt it ever since I got my first name Who can you trust in a world full of sin And at the end, tell me who's your real friend