Starry Eyed

[Verse 1: College Smart] I don’t know how to say this I don’t know where my brain is But I know where the pain is I know where insane is I don’t feel right lately, I’m going crazy Starting to feel like a ghost of myself And I’m running out of daylight, Patrick Swayze Getting tired of chasing this dream I’ve been chasing this real life ‘Cause everything ain’t what it seems They don’t know what it feels like Telling me I got to sacrifice my future wife and kids And tell my girl I’m sorry Starry lights are more important than this? I don’t know if I can do that To look her in her eyes, it’ll change my mood back She could change my mind I love her more than life, even more than I do rap But I want to go out on top I’m caught up in the moment, flashy drops And whips and chains and a girl on top That bondage cash got my hands in a knot But I want it so bad, it’s so close yet so far Like when I see my Dad, he deserves that new car Can’t get job, bank trying to foreclose on his home Man, I’m sorry you’re alone, I’ll pay that mortgage once I’m on Dad, I promise [Hook] [Verse 2: College Smart] I’m stuck in this nightmare Running from these demons, though I never see them It feels like they’re right there Afraid to go to sleep, I could I wake up screaming One of these nights, so one eye open The cousin of death won’t catch me dozing Adderall pills could be overdosing So I’ma go hard until my coffin closing I put that on everything And I would give up anything To not have to go down the fork in the road And choose fame over wedding rings But this 9 to 9 Ain't doing shit to keep pops alive I'm afraid to lose a minute of my fathers time So I'm stuck in this race with father time Should I move to NY? Find a promoter that’s on my level? Change who I am for a deal with Jay? Is it a deal with Jay? Or a deal with the devil? Trade my soul for a chain and a bezel? Walk around frontin like I care for a medal? So y’all can resent me and make these hoes tempt me And make enough dough to ride around in a Bentley? Doesn’t make a difference No matter what you’ll say I’ve changed Changed my look, changed my style Changed my sound and changed my name But I’ll never be the same Everything I do is apart of the plan And if you ain’t ride or die Then I don’t give a fuck if y’all don’t understand (Hook) [Verse 3: College Smart] How am I supposed to tell y’all How I feel if I don’t know myself? Sick of these shows, I'm getting nowhere Trying to put this damn CD on the shelf I’m supposed to be promoting I’m at work trying to get promoted I got bills, until music pay them I won’t be on the road touring And I'm sorry to my fans But this fucking life is crazy This is hopeless, I can't focus I'd need dope to keep eyes open I be zoning, people asking what I'm smoking I don't know man I just know that I’ve been blowing it Got a gift that I ain’t opened yet Like I could of known That these crowds would want to hear me I see jealous rappers fear me And now shallow bitches near me I’m up late, I’m feeling weary Got to get home, tomorrow’s nearing Got to get back to work at 8am I don’t know what type of game I’m in And really, being honest This shit right here? This could be my last song And the worst thing is I can’t say that that’s wrong Fuck this shit Suddenly it’s all too hard to manage And these questions hard to answer Been awhile since I been on campus So I’m gone [Hook] [Outro] I keep running I don’t know myself I keep hiding I don’t know myself