Melocactus Amethystinus

[Verse 1] Fuck it, where am I? Where am I? No, I'm definitely not ready to die Lost in the desert, sand everywhere What the fuck, I really could swear I was just on a trip, gee That escalated quickly Some powder, light colored, white? And just a few liquid drops I was envisioning great sights And no trouble with the cops Then we ran out of boose So I drank that green stuff, cactus juice They said that's what it was And well, I believed it, because I needed just one more drink Ha, I saw you wink! What's that? That standing over there Smaller than a tortoise, bigger than a hare Do you see me? Wait, that seems like a little tree Whoa! Can it really be? It's that cactus, whose juice I'll now pee "Melocactus Amethystinus" Holy crap! Who said that, cause I could swear I was the only one here Wait, maybe inside the plant there's beer Let's go check that Hope for the best, Matt [Hook] Melocactus Amethysti Melocactus Amethysti Melocactus Amethystinus Hehehehe [Verse 2] Hmmm, that really is my plant That's awesome, fant Astical Your ass? Tickles That's fine young lady I'll do it And after that fuck you; it But back to the cacti On heavy drugs? Am I? Time to look for beer, tear the plant apart Nah, fuck it's feelings, it's not like plants feel or have hearts Ouch! Gotta watch out for the spikes Also, gotta watch out for the dykes Because you know, girls fucking, always fun And they come fast, so I need to watch out 'fore they're done Aha, now you're open, green guy So hand me the green juice 'fore I die Of thirst. Hmm that's good Yeah, now I'll be in a good mood Wait a minute, I see a forest of these Yeah, a beautiful pond with lots of trees I mean, cacti, or maybe cactuses Let me get there to relax enjoy the breeze Jack off a little and bless the place with my jizz Almost there, and I'm seeing some weird colors and shit Damn, I could go back to the party, things there were neat "Everybody freeze, hands where I can see 'em please Line up against the wall, look at the camera and say cheese Mr. Jokythur, I understand the responsibility is yours For organizing this party full of drugs and whores Please do follow me to the police car You're under arrest, don't run, you won't get far" Ok, Sir cactus with policeman hat, that's very funny What is going on in here? [Hook] Melocactus Amethysti Melocactus Amethysti Melocactus Amethystinus Hehehehe [Verse 3] "I don't understand what you're saying Beware that I am not playing" Damn, so you're really police Ok listen, do you know what this is? Do you know who I am? Don't you recognize that I'm the man? Best rapper in the whole Tortoisea Yeah, my party does include a lot of noise A lot of boose, drugs and bad bitches I'm one of the richest Mo'fuckers in the world So just leave me and my girls You don't want no trouble with us Just calm down, drink what's inside the cactus "Hmm, this is actually very good I guess I'll leave you just give some food To take And I'll make Sure no one disturbs this here" Yeah, grab some donuts and some beer Sorry for anything Just call me if something Comes up Yeah take that cup Bye Phew, that was close Lots of sandstorms rose Out of nowhere Then I got back there Party on people! [Outro: Matt (spoken)] Damn it Cla-Clay you were really crazy, talking to that cactus and shit and licking its interior and putting beer inside it. That's what I call a party!