Label Office Cypher

WEBBY'S AGENT: Web you got the CD? WEBBY: Course I got the fuckin' CD man, fuckin' big meeting and shit... we're pretty late though, you think we're gonna be good? WEBBY'S AGENT: I think we're gonna be all set man, just pick up your pants a little bit. No talking about Adderal, no talking about banging this guy's wife like keep it real good WEBBY: Of course, of course... Oh shit, is that that fucking BarsTaLoan dude again? WEBBY'S AGENT: Man that guy e-mails me every day... BarsTaLoan (to bodyguard): Yo get your hands off me man, stop I got rights! Stop get, off me! BODYGUARD: Fuck your rights, you need to evacuate right now BarsTaLoan: I know I scared this bodyguard, man... Oh, oh, you got Chris Webby up in this motherfuckin' office? That's who your next appointment is, Chris Webby?! Y'all don't want BarsTaLoan but you're gonna fuck with Chris Webby up in this bitch?! BODYGUARD: Will you get out of here? BarsTaLoan: Get the fuck off me man! BODYGUARD: What? BarsTaLoan: Chris Webby fuck you, fuck Homegrown, fuck all that other bullshit! Get the fuck off me man! Fuck you Chris Webby WEBBY: Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you buddy! BarsTaLoan: What old ass copy machine is that? BarsTaLoan I got ink jets boy! Like a motherfuckin' sauna up in here man, that's what bitches say when they get in my car nigga. "It's like a motherfuckin' sauna up in here damn BarsTaLoan" yeah bitch cause I'm fuckin' hot! BODYGUARD: C'mon let's go... BarsTaLoan: Nah get your fuckin' hands off me, yo. It's all conspiracy my nigga, I'm telling you. It's trilluminati or illuminati, something like that, my boy told me look at the You page, no I mean the YouTube page, it was something but... Fuck you, I know y'all niggas is part of that shit, I see all these piramids when I'm walkin' in, yo KENNY: Get the fuck out of here! BODYGUARD: Let's go... And don't come fuckin' back here! WEBBY (to secretary): Hey, how you doin' SECRETARY: I'm really sorry about that WEBBY: Nah, it's cool... I keep seeing that fuckin' guy everywhere SECRETARY: He's been in here about four times this week WEBBY: Really? Interesting... Anyways, I have a meeting today, with Marty? SECRETARY: Chris Webby? WEBBY: Yeah, yeah, uh, that would be me SECRETARY: He's down the hall, first door on the left WEBBY: Oh I see it, uh thank you, thank you, appreciate that MARTY: Lisa, where are my fax messages? I asked for those ten minutes ago, let's get it together. That' not what the fuck I asked for, I asked you to do something, you do it right, otherwise you're fired WEBBY: Hey, Marty, Marty? MARTY: Oh mister "thirty-minutes-I'm-late" guy, how you doin'? WEBBY: Uh I'm, uh... good MARTY: Well, know you've got five minutes to impress me, so sell me yourself, you got videos? Can you rap? WEBBY: Yeah, I mean, did you like... research? MARTY: I don't have time for the internet WEBBY: Alright, uh, yo, fuck. Kenny, you wanna just beatbox real quick? KENNY (in robot voice): Beatbox activating WEBBY: *coughs* MARTY (referring to Kenny): Is that coming out of his mouth? [Freestyle: Chris Webby] I'm an untrained dog, no collar Had loose screws since I was a toddler Yo don't bother Up in this bitch drinking vodka like water Do you read me? Roger, I am a monster All you young buck white kids put the mic down, I am your father Still be drinking like I did when I was up at Hofstra Taking more shots than I did playing Contra Hold up, hold up, hold up, wait Let me take a sip of water, I don't know if I'm straight Lost track of all the LIT's that I drank And I'm feeling like I just might faint But I lace my sneakers, eat a piece of pizza And throw another bottle right up on the Visa Bangin' out those speakers Going hard in the paint like I fucked Mona Lisa Where the chronic B? My short term memory is chronically Fucked up, cause I burn down constantly How could I shape up? I forgot geometry But they gon' learn CT in geography Cause I got the whole damn world watching me It's hard to even keep up with it honestly Let's gettin' it muthafuckin' poppin' B We're losing brain cells I don't think I'm leaving this Motherfucker, 'til somebody takes away my keys and shit I haven't been trained well, I'm so disobedient Got that verbal dope, so just holla if you need a fix Drop a freestyle, daily fire Lighting up a bong up that'll take me higher Crazy rhymer, that's known to cross the line like a stereotypical Asian driver Web so sick that I make 'em nauseous Go balls out, never play it cautious Went from a dorm room to rapping to muthafuckers wearing suits in a label office I'm a beast on the mic with a beatbox flow Anybody steppin' after he rocks, no He got flow, I'm an animal, follow my name with an e-i, e-i, e-i-o Seat ride low when I'm cruising in With a cup full of brown like Julian With a trailer park boy and some hooligans Got bars, yeah kid I got a few of them It's C Web MARTY: Mc Donald's, Coca Cola, Chris Webby, in lights... Billboard, Times Square, you'll be holding babies on ad commercials WEBBY: That's cool. Babies, why babies? I don't understand this MARTY: You know what, you wanna make money? WEBBY: I mean... MARTY: A million dollars WEBBY: That's cool, I... don't know... MARTY: Five albums, eight years WEBBY, WEBBY'S AGENT, KENNY: What? Five albums, damn! Nah nah... WEBBY: I... MARTY: So no deal? WEBBY'S AGENT: Yeah, we're not gonna... WEBBY: I... I mean, I'm just not so sure... MARTY: Get out of my office. Leave the pen here too WEBBY: Damn, alright... MARTY (from the distance): Lisa, next meeting! And bring me a coffee and my fucking granola bar!