Best in the Burbs

[Verse 1: Chris Webby] I'm rollin' safe and sound, easy as I blaze a pound Put my middle fingers in the air and never take it down Writin' raps for me is easy, I just play around Hit em' with these crazy adverbs and outrageous nouns And still no labels found me and fuckin' signed me yet And though I grow impatient, I know my time is next I'm a big dog, y'all are tiny pets I'm an autobot, I got it tatted on my chest Optimus Primes my mothafuckin' bodyguard So I hit em' with these you can never stop me bars I'm at the sake bar, gettin' blacked out Till I wake up on the sidewalk passed out The judge is tellin' me this is my last chance So I gotta stay grindin' like a lap dance Got bitches bendin' over like they had a back cramp Insert below the lower back tat, damn I'm why your girlfriend lacks pants Huh, steady work her out like it's fat camp Uh, yo, somebody grab a trash can Shit, at least somewhere to ash man I gotta dutch lit, rappin' with soul Leave you with a fat lip like you're packin' some Skoal Cause I do it for the Franklins I'm a blue whale and the games full of plankton I'm a vet, a top threat, known to rock sets Tear it the fuck down for DJ Booth.net So yes, I'm ballin' truly so y'all should shoot me You can see me on that online Call of Duty Smack booty, I'm rude and intrusive, hardly lucid Hittin' DJ Booth with that exclusive I need no excuses, I spit that crack Play fetch with the disc jockey bring that shit back They said Asher's the best in the burbs, well at least that's what they said And that's for one reason, cause they ain't heard Web I make a mean song, plus I kick it from the head Always buzzin off the A.D.D. meds, Hempstead! To CT you know I make the best stutter No Will Ferrel, but you better step, brother Ha, that's why your girl's ass bare I hit it, and didn't pay for the cab fare Now relax there, don't get pissed off I'm the survivor on my island, and you been kicked off Think this kid's soft? R.O.F.L I got the look, got the swag, and a flow that sells My reputation so excels so just stop I do more then watch for sex, drugs, and rock I'm silly and such, fillin' a dutch Battlin' dudes who simply suck Then go fuck Hillary Duff Tryin to rap it with my dick in the butt And spit fire, so I'm sorry Lizzie McGuire See, I'm rappin' past the throttle, I'll crack a bottle So you better get the fuckin picture like a graphic novel I got your little bastard boggled You couldn't fuck with me even if we spittin' at a brothel Cause I be killin' em like Hostile, murderous with words That's why they sayin' Webby is the best up in the burbs