No Sex (in the Champagne Room)

[Chris Rock] Ladies and gentlemen.. of the G.E.D. class of 1999 I have one piece of advice for you No matter what a stripper tells you There's no sex in the Champagne Room.. NONE! Oh there's CHAMPAGNE in the Champagne Room But you don't want champagne.. you want sex And there's NO sex.. in the Champagne Room Don't go to parties with metal detectors Sure it feels safe inside; but what about All those niggas waitin outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.. If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16.. she's 12 If she tells you she's 26, and LOOKS 26.. she's damn near 40 Take off that silly-ass hat The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes Coolio did some of that shit Young black men -- if you go to a movie theater And someone steps on your foot, let it SLIIIDE Why spend the next twenty years in jail Cause someone smudged your Puma? Cornbread -- ain't nuttin wrong with thatt No matter what you think of what I'm sayin Remember this one thing: there is no sex, in the Champagne Room [Gerald Levert] Ooooohh... No sex in the Champagne Room (6X) Absolutely, positively, no sex in the Champagnnnne, Room No.. no-ohhhhh... [Chris Rock] If a homeless person.. has a funny sign.. He hasn't been homeless that long A +REAL+ homeless person, is too hungry, to be funny If a girl has a pierced tongue - she'll probably suck your dick [Levert: That'd be great..] If a guy has a pierced tongue - he'll probably suck your dick [Levert: I don't want that, no..] Here's a horoscope for everyone: Aquarius: You're gonna die Capricorn: You're gonna die Gemini: You're gonna die TWICE Leo: You're gonna die Scorpio: You're gonna die fuckin [Levert: Ohh yeah..] No one goes to Hooters for wings [Levert: No no no..] If you've been dating a man for four months And you haven't met any of his friends, you are NOT his girlfriend! Some of the things I've said may not apply to you Some of the things I've said may offend you But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing No matter what a stripper says There's no sex in the Champagne Room NONE [Gerald Levert] No sex in the Champagne Room Said no sex in the Champagne Room No sex in the Champagne Room No no sex in the Champagne Room No sex in the Champagne Room Can't get none, uhh Can't have none, nah In the Champagne Room Said there's absolutely, positively No sex in the Champagne Room Said no.. no.. Said no-ohhhh.. Said Chris said.. There ain't no sex In the Champagne Room.. no.. no.. no.. Can't get none, ahh Can't have none.. *fades*