No Sex

Ladies and Gentlemen of the G. E. D. class of 1999 I have one piece of advice for you No matter what a stripper tells you There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE! Oh, there's champagne in the champagne room But you don't want champagne, you want sex And there's no sex in the champagne room Dont go to parties with metal detectors Sure, it feels safe inside But what about all those niggers waiting outside with guns They Know You Ain't Got One! If a woman tells you she's 20, and looks 16, she's 12 If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's Damn Near 40! Take off that silly ass hat The ODB couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes Coolio did some of that shit Young black men: If you go to a movie theater, and someone steps on your foot Let it slide! Why spend the next 20 years in jail b-cuz Someone smudged Your Puma! Cornbread - Ain't nothin wrong with that! No matter what you think of what I'm sayin' Remember this one thing: There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! No Sex In The Champagne Room No Sex In The Champagne Room! No Sex In The Champagne Room No Sex In The Champagne Room! Absolutly, positively no sex in the champagne room If a homeless person has a funny sign He hasn't been homeless that long A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny If a girl has a pierced tongue She'll probably suck your dick (That'd Be great, Yeaaaah!) If a guy has a pierced tongue He'll probably suck your dick (Dont want that Noooooo!) Here's a horoscope for everyone: Aquarius - You're Gonna Die! Capricorn - You're Gonna Die! Gemini - You're Gonna Die TWICE! Leo - You're Gonna Die! Scorpio - You're Gonna Die fuckin'! No one goes to Hooters for wings If you've been dating a man for 4 months And you haven't met any of his friends You Are Not His Girlfriend! Some of the things I said may not apply to you Some of the things I said may offend you But no matter who you are You must remember this one thing: No matter what a stripper says There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE! No Sex In The Champagne Room No Sex In The Champagne Room! Can't get none, Nooooo! Can't have none, Nooooo! No Sex In The Champagne Room No Sex In The Champagne Room!