I Love Rap Music

Now, I'm thirty-nine, right? And I still love rap music. I love rap music. You know, I LOVE IT! But I'm tired of defending it. Because you got to defend rap music, man. Because people always say, "That's not music, that's not art, that's garbage! How can you listen to that garbage? How can you listen to that trash?" And in the old days, it was easy to defend rap music. It was easy to defend it on an intellectual level. You could break it down, intellectually, why Grandmaster Flash was art, why Run-D.M.C. was art, why Whodini was art in music. You could break it down intellectually, okay? And I love all the rappers today, but it's hard to defend this shit. It's hard, man. It's hard to defend, "I got hoes in different area codes." It's hard to defend, "Move Bitch (Get Out the Way)." Well, as you can see, there's a bitch in his way, that he needs to move! Thus, the term, "move bitch, get out the way." You need to open YOUR eyes so you can get the bitches out of your way! My favorite song right now is IMPOSSIBLE to defend. It's impossible! We should all be ashamed of ourselves for liking this fucking song -- Lil Jon -- you know this: "To the window, to the wall To the sweat drip from my balls" To the sweat drip from my balls! Skeet skeet skeet skeet! And you know what's real wild? You go to a club, you'll see girls dancing to that shit. Loving it! "To the sweat drip from my balls! To the sweat drip from my balls! To the sweat, to the sweat, to the sweat drip from my balls! FROM MY BALLS! Skeet skeet! FROM MY BALLS! Skeet skeet! To the sweat, to the sweat! My balls, my balls!" You know what's wild--I feel sorry for the guys that gotta pick a wife out of this bunch. "Uh, daddy, where'd you meet mommy?" "Oh, she was singing about balls at a club. Skeet skeet skeet!" That's why people always say rap music is misogynistic and it's degrading to women. But what I realized, man, is women that like rap DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Women that like rap don't care what they're saying. If the beat's alright, she will dance all night. Women don't give a fuck; the nastier, the better. I see girls on the floor dancing to the nastiest shit ever made. Just on the floor, like, Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Now put a dick in her ear, a dick in the ear. DICK in the ear, DICK in the ear. Fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye. Fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye. BLIND the bitch, BLIND the bitch, BLIND the bitch. And you know what's wild? If you mention to a woman that the song is disgusting and misogynistic, they all give you the same answer: "He ain't talking about me!" Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Now put a dick in her ear, a dick in her ear. "He said your name!" "No he didn't." Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick. Love rap music, tired of defending it, man. And it's weird with rap music, man, because people either love it, or hate it. Even the United States Government hates rap. The GOVERNMENT hates rap. You know why I say that? Because they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! They don't got no clues, no suspects--they don't have SHIT when there's a dead rapper. They don't fill out a police report, they don't even have a chalk line when there's a dead rapper. Shit, if you want to get away with murder, all you got to do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket. "This is a rap killing. Let's go home." The Government hates rap. Man, look at all these dead rappers, man: Biggie Smalls, Jam Master Jay, 2Pac Shakur. Now, 2Pac was gunned down on the Las Vegas Strip after a Mike Tyson fight. Now, how many witnesses do you need to see some shit before you arrest somebody? Shit. More people saw 2Pac get shot than the last episode of Seinfeld. And you know what's fucked up? Every year, 2Pac comes back from the dead, records a new album with clues in it. Every record got a clue if you listen real hard. "The brother in the red shot me dead." Right there! Track four, Pac is trying to tell us something. Listen again. "It was a nigga named Kevin with a MAC-11." Right there! Pac is reaching out to us! Lis-ten! The government hates rap, man. And only rappers get "gunned down" like this. And I'll tell you right now--if Billy Joel, Elton John, and David Bowie got shot, they'd have Bruce Springsteen's house surrounded. The Government hates rap. And only the good rappers are dead! Only the good ones. Biggie's dead, 2Pac's dead, Vanilla Ice is still alive. The Government hates rap. You mean to tell me they can find Saddam Hussein in a fucking hole, but you can't tell me who shot 2Pac? Shit. They found Saddam Hussein in fucking Iraq. 2Pac got shot in Vegas! 2Pac in Vegas! Not on no side street--the mother fucker got shot up on the Strip, in front of Circus Circus! Dead! So fucked up, the whole world's fucked up, man.