Earache My Eye (Conversation)

Cheech (Father): I SAID TURN THAT THING DOWN AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL! Chong (Son): HEY! What're ya tryin' to do?! You ruined my record, man, I just bought it! Cheech: I don't care what you just bought! You get your fanny-perpendicular and get ready for school! Chong: I'm not going to school! Cheech: What do you mean you're not going to school?! Chong: Just what I said, I'm not going to school! Cheech: And why not?! Chong: Because I'm sick, that's why not! Cheech: Sick...you're sick alright, what's wrong with you now, Prince Charming? Chong: I got an earache Cheech: Earache my eye! How'd you like a buttache?! Now get your little fanny out of that bed and clean up this room, it looks like a pigsty. You hear me?! (Chong makes pig noises) Cheech: Alright, that's enough! That's enough! You've pushed me far enough, young man, you're getting punished! Now stand up! Chong: No! Cheech: I said STAND UP! (Pulls Chong's hair and Chong screams) Chong: Hey, let go of my hair, man! Cheech: Now, young man, I have talked to you, and talked to you, and talked to you until I'm blue in the face, and I'm done talking to you! Chong: Good, does that mean you're done spitting on me, too?! Cheech: Shut up, I'm not done talking to you! Now turn around and bend over! Chong: Well, what're ya gonna do ya pervert? Cheech: Pervert...why you snotty... (Cheech chases Chong and Chong whimpers) Cheech: Oh, shut up, I haven't even touched you yet! Now I want you to know that this is going to hurt you more than it's gonna hurt me! (Cheech spanks Chong weakily) Chong: Oh, wow, that didn't even hurt Cheech: Oh yeah!? (Cheech spanks Chong weakily again) Chong: Oh, wow, what're you trying to do, tickle me? Cheech: Tickle you, yeah, I'll tickle you... (Cheech spanks Chong hard, hurting him) Cheech: Does that tickle, huh? How about another tickle? Come on, laugh it up, funny boy! (Cheech finishes spanking Chong) Chong: No more, no more, no more! Cheech: Alright, are you going to do what I tell you? Chong: Yeah, yeah! (Whimpering) Cheech: Are you going to talk back to me? Chong: Yeah, yeah! (Going along with the lecture, doesn't realize what he said) Cheech: WHAT?! Chong: I mean, no, no, no... Cheech: Good. Now you get your clothes on and get your little butt ready for school. Right now, do you understand? Chong: (Faking a whimper) Yeah... Cheech: Alright (Cheech leaves the room and closes the door, Chong breathes a sigh of relief and turns on the music again)