Average Guy

[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models I’m just your average guy I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger I’m just your average guy. [Hook] Guess it’s time to make an intro Bet you thought a rapper would have pulled up in a limo Nope can’t even afford to tint the windows Oldsmobile fool, feeling like a pimp, though See my salary’s average I’ve got to fans or fanatics and I don’t have any classics But why you rappers gotta laugh at me damn it I’ve got tour bus too, Calgary transit Eating sushi with cuties and making movies Got doobies and tons of booze for the groupies in my Jacuzzi Yeah right! I’m sitting alone in my house Never go out I spend my time just sitting at home on the couch ‘Cause I’m afraid of going out in public places Plus I catch a cold every time I leave my basement Been at the back since I came in this game Might have been rapping for years but I’ve got no real fame [Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models I’m just your average guy I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger I’m just your average guy. [Hook] When I go on double dates I’m the fifth wheel Sit at a table alone eating a kid’s meal And I don’t plan to learn how being rich feels I make Jon Lajoie look like a big deal They’ve got fame but I tell ‘em so what You got a big name now you think you’re so tough I never get paid and I never get laid When I’m rocking on stage no one ever shows up Think I’m ‘bout to sell a bunch of records fat chance Guess I should’ve come up with a better plan, damn Women never tell me that they’re cheddar fans man After concerts I just shake a bunch of sweaty man hands I don’t wear any designer lines Hell, I’ve been wearing the same clothes since I was like 12 Guess there really isn’t much to enjoy man I always knew I should’ve joined a boy band [Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models I’m just your average guy I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger I’m just your average guy. [Hook]