Endless Emptiness

I will no longer set myself on fire Just to see your eyes light up If it's gone, I'm gone. If it's dead, I'm dead So say it straight and don't you fucking pretend I thought it would play out fine, but I'm still empty as ever And I've seen every sign, but I'm still searching for more Replay it over and over, seems I took the long road home It's 3AM, you're fast asleep and I'm still losing it Fucked myself again, another fresh start torn apart So far from stable, I have no grip on this situation Cause I'm scared to know what it's like to stay in one place Take me out of this mess I've made Have your choice at a gun or a blade But I can't do this any longer I object to your rejection Tell me who the fuck do you see in that reflection? I can't explain how I got here But I'm ready to face the mirror And come to terms with what I fear I keep telling myself I don't want to be here anymore Why am I scared to death of any sort of constant? So are the suicidal thoughts just a way to cope with the fact That my reality is I'm dependent on your company? Just wanted someone to talk to. Just wanted someone to listen Decided the fighting wasn't worth my time But it's hard to break this cycle when it's all I've ever known I close my eyes and imagine the world without me