Friend From The Apple Store

[Intro] Yeah, I feel good Pretty good Feeling like I'm 'bout to go in Yep, OK [Verse 1] I gots no coins, gots no cash But if you want gold check underneath the stache I mean mustache Sweater's from the Goodwill, if you must ask Was saving at the thrift store Way before Macklemore Setting up genius bars like on the Apple Store (Damn!) And shout out to the Apple Store Put a pencil to my iPad and it don't work no more Picked up the phone, called customer service Hung up when the lady's sexy voice made me nervous (You messed up) Shoulda asked her for a date She coulda gone to my rap show on the eighth Called right back this time, got a dude Just invited him didn't want to be rude Now, he's my friend from the Apple Store Broke my phone screen when it dropped on the floor Said he'd hook me up with like 25 more UPS delivered right to my front door I could keep a few if I just signed a form Then came a knock at a quarter to four Two boys in blue said they heard I got a score Held up a poster, have you seen him before? Er, it's my friend from the Apple Store [Bridge] *heavy breathing* Oh no! No! It's my friend from the Apple Store [Verse 2] I never seen him, I swore and I swore And I wanna see a warrant, what you take me for? I picked up the phone, five was the time called (867-5309) That's my friend's number and I got him on the line He said sorry, cause I almost got caught He shoulda told me yesterday the phone screens were hot On the black market here we sell 'em like rocks Now be a good friend and drive 'em down to the docks And while you're at the wheel keep an eye out for the cops Don't speed through the lights and obey all the stops Hey, welcome to the Apple Store Hopped up in my wagon, headed out to the shore Saw my friend parked, these screens aren't yours And you tricked me into taking 'em what you do this for Cal, it's clear that you don't get around I had to play you, you're the dumbest mark I ever found Then I heard a siren sound (Hey, put the screens down and put your hands on the ground!) [Outro] Dang! (x6) No! I'm too beautiful to go to jail!