Town of Salem

Gather 'round and settle down For a story will unveil And stay me thinks With Dave and Minx As we tell you a haunting tale Welcome-come to our wonderful town Welcome-come we are humble and proud It's the happiest place With a circular space! Where we all come together and sing La, la, la, la We be living in our pilgrim hats With our buildings thatched roofs You can chill, relax Cause nothing bad ever happens in this town Nothing bad ever happens in this town But when the town goes to sleep You can hear the sound of something devious Of something quite mysterious Lurking in the dark Do you have the knife? Yeah man tonight Someone's gonna be mad in the afterlife Gotta be the cleanest dirt-nap the mafia class can bring And they won't suspect a thing Help help! The sheriff is dead! Either that or he's really sleepy and red Well I was on the lookout and I saw those guys Sneak into his house at night! Lynch them all on sight! We're innocent? All in favour of death say aye! We'll sleep soundly tonight Cause nothing bad ever happens in this town Nothing bad ever happens in this town But when the town goes to sleep You can hear the sound of something devious Of something quite mysterious Lurking in the dark But not for long I'll add fuel to the fire By turning the town into a funeral pyre! I got a burning ambition Add the last of this gas on the thatch With this match says it's time for ignition! Help help! The lookout's house is in cinders I told that guy to stop using Tinder! I'll investigate... Hey, I can smell an arsonist's gas! Pardon me? What? Ew, not that I mean you set the fire! Hang her immediately! All say aye, AYE! Bye bye! Now we can be free Cause nothing bad ever happens in this town Nothing bad ever happens in this town But when the town goes to sleep You can hear the sound of something devious Of something quite mysterious Lurking in the dark It's dead frosty out cause I'm a serial killer One stab and no investigator left to turn me in and It's on the the next house to attack AAAH! Gotcha, you stepped right into my veteran booby trap I saved the town. I saved the town! Wait, is anybody else around? Me, I'm a medium, and it's just us What a painful lonely existence Can you ask how the afterlife is? Uh-huh, the whole town is there reunited And every single one of them is saying it's great there Hmm, then it's time for some euthanasia