Talkin’ Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues [Brandeis 1963]

I saw it advertised one day Bear Mountain picnic was comin’ my way “Come along ’n’ take a trip We’ll bring you up there on a ship Bring the wife and kids Bring the whole family” Yippee! Well, I run right down ’n’ bought a ticket To this Bear Mountain Picnic But little did I realize I was in for a picnic surprise Had nothin’ to do with mountains I didn’t even come close to a bear Took the wife ’n’ kids down to the pier Six thousand people there Everybody had a ticket for the trip “Oh well,” I said, “it’s a pretty big ship Besides, anyway, the more the merrier” Well, we all got on ’n’ what d’ya think That big old boat started t’ sink More people kept a-pilin’ on That old ship was a-slowly goin’ down Funny way t’ start a picnic Well, I soon lost track of m’ kids ’n’ wife So many people there I never saw in m’ life That old ship sinkin’ down in the water Six thousand people tryin’ t’ kill each other Dogs a-barkin’, cats a-meowin’ Women screamin’, fists a-flyin’, babies cryin’ Cops a-comin’, me a-runnin’ Maybe we just better call off the picnic I got shoved down ’n’ pushed around All I could hear there was a screamin’ sound Don’t remember one thing more Just remember wakin’ up on a little shore Head busted, stomach cracked Feet splintered, I was bald, naked . . Quite lucky to be alive though Feelin’ like I climbed outa m’ casket I grabbed back hold of m’ picnic basket Took the wife ’n’ kids ’n’ started home Wishin’ I’d never got up that morn Now, I don’t care just what you do If you wanta have a picnic, that’s up t’ you But don’t tell me about it, I don’t wanta hear it ’Cause, see, I just lost all m’ picnic spirit Stay in m’ kitchen, have m’ own picnic . . In the bathroom Now, it don’t seem to me quite so funny What some people are gonna do f’r money There’s a bran’ new gimmick every day Just t’ take somebody’s money away I think we oughta take some o’ these people And put ’em on a boat, send ’em up to Bear Mountain . . For a picnic