My Whole Family...

Every time I go to dinner, seems like I get a little bit thinner I'll sit down at the breakfast table, I can talk well they’re not able When I look at them I find, there's a single question on their mind I wish it could go back to the way it was It’s not easy now because My whole family thinks I’m gay I guess it’s always been that way Maybe it’s ‘cause of the way that I walk That makes them think I like… boys That I like boys The goddamned question just won’t go away And I get asked every single day But the way they ask it is not a disguise Like, “How was your day do you like to kiss guys?” This was the worse baby this was my fear Now there opinions are crystal clear Because, my whole family now is shocked I’m in the closet and the door is locked Now my glory days are gone I was John Elway now I’m Elton John My whole family now suspects Watching Spongebob had side effects I’m not gay and that’s what I said If I’m gay, hey God strike me dead (coughing and choking fit) That’s weird Just ‘cause I’m on the cheerleading team Or my birthday party had a Broadway theme When I go outside what do I see That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G Because, I think that god might think I’m gay What does he know anyway? My Grandma gave me a present last year And the card said “Happy Birthday Queer” My whole family thinks I’m fab “There’s a guy’s butt. Hey Bo, take a stab.” Come on? “Why doesn’t he get women? There’s no other way?” It’s ‘cause I’m lanky not ‘cause I’m gay Not ‘cause I’m gay Just ‘cause I’m afraid of the snow Or my favorite color is the rainbow (Heh… it was a joke) I don’t mean to yell but I fear I must Because I’m losing the people that I thought I could trust Because even my boyfriend thinks I’m gay Just kidding heh…heh You all probably think I’m gay Man this song is counterproductive Lalalalalala Because my whole family thinks I’m gay What do they know anyway? You gotta look right through the haze Easy bake oven was just a phase My whole family thinks I’m queer That is all I ever hear But I’ve been as straight as a ramp If you don’t count Bible camp Bible camp I’m not gay I swear