Opening Ceremony

[ARBITER] I've a duty as the referee At the start of the match On behalf of all our sponsors I must welcome you Which I do -- there's a catch I don't care if you're a champion No one messes with me I am ruthless in upholding What I know is right Black or white -- as you'll see I'm on the case Can't be fooled Any objection Is overruled Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best [Chorus] He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed [ARBITER] You got your tricks Good for you But there's no gambit I don't see through Oh I'm the Arbiter I know the score [Chorus] From square one he'll be watching all 64 [ARBITER] If you're thinking of the kind of thing That we've seen in the past Chanting gurus, walkie-talkies Walkouts, hypnotists Tempers, fists -- not so fast This is not the start of World War Three No political ploys I think both your constitutions are terrific so Now you know -- be good boys I'm on the case Can't be fooled Any objection Is overruled Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best [Chorus] He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed [ARBITER] You got your tricks Good for you But there's no gambit I don't see through Oh I'm the Arbiter I know the score [Chorus] From square one he'll be watching all 64 [ARBITER] Yes I'm the Arbiter I know the score [Chorus] From square one he's watching all 64 [DIPLOMATS] No one can deny that these are difficult times... It's the U.S. versus U.S.S.R Yet we more or less are -- No one can deny that these are difficult times... -- to our credit putting all that aside We have swallowed our pride These are dangerous and difficult times... [Molokov] It really doesn't matter who comes out on top, who gets the chop No one's way of life is threatened by a flop -- But we're gonna smash their bastard Make him wanna change his name Take him to the cleaners and devastate him Wipe him out, humiliate him We don't want the whole world saying They can't even win a game We have never reckoned On coming second There's no use in losing It's the U.S. versus U.S.S.R Yet we more or less are -- No one can deny that these are difficult times -- to our credit putting all that aside We have swallowed our pride These are very difficult and dangerous times... The value of events like this need not be stressed When East and West Can meet as comrades, ease the tension over drinks Through sporting links As long as their man sinks [MERCHANDISERS] Whether you are pro or anti Or could not care less We are here to tell you We are here to sell you chess Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles We've a franchise worth exploiting And we will -- yes we will! When it comes to merchandising We could kill When you get up -- When you get up in the morning Till you crash at night You will have to live your life With bishop, rook and knight Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste Wear our vests Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts You could even buy a set And learn to play We don't mind we'll sell you something Anyway We've done all our market research And our findings show That this game of chess could be around A month or so Maybe it's a bit confusing For a game But Rubik's Cubes were much the same In the end the whole world bought one All were gone By which time we merchandisers Had moved on By which time we had moved on! [ARBITER] I'm on the case, can't be fooled Any objection is overruled Don't try to tempt me -- you've no hope I don't like women, I don't take dope I'm the Arbiter I know the score [Chorus] From square one he'll be watching all 64 [ARBITER] You got your tricks -- good for you But there is no gambit I don't see through I'm the Arbiter and I know best [Chorus] He's impartial don't push him he's unimpressed [ARBITER] I'm the Arbiter my word is law [Chorus] From square one he'll be watching you... [EVERYONE] Don't you find it rather touching to behold The game that came in from the cold Seen for what it is -- religion plus finesse Countries, classes, creeds, as one in Love of chess