Leaving New York

6:05, Brooklyn Bridge: Failed and tongue-tied Body aching, hands shaking, bloody inside Still alive Sunrise like a pillar of fire Still running like the static on a blank channel Sunken to the bottom of the barrel of a gun Braced against the railing looking straight into the sun Like I was waiting for someone to burn a picture in my mind… Like i could recite scripture off the lids of my eyes… Fishing in the East River for a reason to die Voices whispered in my mind, I believe they were mine Another pilgrim come to find that the bridge is a lie, and There’s nothing on the other side… I was told to pick my battles. This isn’t my war My fight is with myself. I’m leaving New York Leaving my prayer rug in the apartment off Van Cortlandt Caught in constant paranoia coughing someone’s jagged hallelujah Buildings like a burning cross, withdrawal The drive north, all five burroughs fall Lizards listen through the walls, born into this funeral News of war from city hall, subway station, FDR Tanks and guards, riot squad, movement of the violent mob I dissolve Fall apart Dusted in the dark, watching the war start… They’re going to send us to the deserts of Mars Where we’ll die or go crazy with our legs blown off Don’t want to suffocate in space While God and the State face off Flags waving in the grey dawn Better to break north I was told to pick my battles. This isn’t my war My fight is with myself. I’m leaving New York I never found solid ground But slept in a burning bed There’s a couple landlords With a bounty on my head Never learned to bend my neck Or to worship the dead Metro card expired; hop a turnstile and then jet Was I a coward to abandon The broken down mechanics That crowned Biggie Smalls as the King of Atlantis? “Like trees to branches, cliffs to avalanches” The sea in which she vanished… Lost Kingdom of Jay-Z and Def Jam Cannibals Beating a dead break on the decks of the Titanic I am it but I can’t fit So when the sky fell I felt like one of the guilty With the populace in lockstep Ready to come and kill me Did Providence demolish the buildings That rust and rot beneath the Hudson? All of it came to nothing And the devil’s still running… And the devil’s still running… I was told to pick my battles. This isn’t my war My fight is with myself. I’m leaving