Schadenfreude

Gary Coleman: Right now you are down and out And feelin' really crappy Nicky: I'll say Gary: And when I see how sad you are It sorta makes me happy Nicky: Happy? Gary: Sorry Nicky Human nature- Nothing I can do It's Schadenfreude Making me feel glad that I'm not you Nicky: Now that's not very nice Gary Gary: I didn't say it was nice But everybody does it 'Dya ever clap when a waitress falls And drops a tray of glasses? Nicky: Yea Gary: And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters Fallin' on their asses? Nicky: Sure Gary: Don't you feel all warm and cozy Watching people out in the rain? Nicky: You bet Gary: That's Both: Schadenfreude Gary: People taking pleasure in your pain Nicky: Oh. Schadenfreude, huh? What's that? Some kind of Nazi word? Gary: Yup. It's German for 'happiness at the misfortune of others' Nicky: 'Happiness at the misfortune of others' That is German! Watching a vegetarian Being told she just ate chicken Gary: Or watching a frat boy Realize just what he put his dick in Nicky: Being on an elevator when somebody Shouts 'Hold the door!' Gary: Oh yea! Both: No! Schadenfreude Gary: Fuck you lady! That's what stairs are for! Nicky: Ooh- How about: Straight A student's getting B's Gary: Exes getting STDs Nicky: Waking doormen from their naps Gary: Watching tourists reading maps Nicky: Football players getting tackled Gary: CEOs getting shackled Nicky: Watching actors never reach Both: The ending of their Oscar speech! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Gary: The world needs people like you and me Who've been knocked around by fate Cause when people see us They don't want to be us And that makes them feel great Nicky: Sure We provide a vital service to society Both: You and me! Schadenfreude Making the world a better place Making the world a better place Making the world a better place to be! Gary S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!