It Sucks To Be Me

[KATE MONSTER:] Morning, Brian! [BRIAN:] Hi, Kate Monster [KATE MONSTER:] How's life? [BRIAN:] Disappointing! [KATE MONSTER:] What's the matter? [BRIAN:] The catering company Laid me off [KATE MONSTER:] Oh, I'm sorry! [BRIAN:] Me too! I mean, look at me! I'm ten years out of college, and I Always thought [KATE MONSTER:] What? [BRIAN:] No, it sounds stupid [KATE MONSTER:] Aww, come on! [BRIAN:] When I was little I thought I would be [KATE MONSTER:] What? [BRIAN:] A big comedian On late night TV But now I'm thirty-two And as you can see I'm not [KATE MONSTER:] Nope! [BRIAN:] Oh Well It sucks to be me [KATE MONSTER:] Nooo [BRIAN:] It sucks to be me [KATE MONSTER:] No! [BRIAN:] It sucks to be broke And unemployed And turning thirty-three It sucks to be me [KATE MONSTER:] Oh, you think your life sucks? [BRIAN:] I think so [KATE MONSTER:] Your problems aren't so bad! I'm kinda pretty And pretty damn smart [BRIAN:] You are [KATE MONSTER:] Thanks! I like romantic things Like music and art And as you know I have a gigantic heart So why don't I have A boyfriend? Fuck! It sucks to be me! [BRIAN:] Me too [KATE MONSTER:] It sucks to be me [BRIAN:] It sucks to be me It sucks to be Brian [KATE MONSTER:] And Kate [BRIAN:] To not have a job! [KATE MONSTER:] To not have a date! [BOTH:] It sucks to be me [BRIAN:] Hey, Rod, Nicky, can you Settle something for us? Do you have a second? [ROD:] Ah, certainly [KATE MONSTER:] Whose life sucks more? Brian's or mine? [NICKY AND ROD:] Ours! [ROD:] We live together [NICKY:] We're as close As people can get [ROD:] We've been the best of buddies [NICKY:] Ever since the Day we met [ROD:] So he knows lots Of ways to make me Really upset Oh, every day is An aggravation [NICKY:] Come on, that's An exaggeration! [ROD:] You leave your Clothes out You put your feet On my chair [NICKY:] Oh yeah? You do such anal Things like ironing Your underwear [ROD:] You make that very Small apartment We share a hell [NICKY:] So do you That's why I'm in hell too! [ROD:] It sucks to be me! [NICKY:] No, it sucks to be me! [KATE MONSTER:] It sucks to be me! [BRIAN:] It sucks to be me! [ALL:] Is there anybody here It doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me! [CHRISTMAS EVE:] Why you all so happy? [NICKY:] Becuase our lives suck! [CHRISTMAS EVE:] Your lives suck? I hearing you correctly? Ha! I coming to this country For opportunities Tried to work in Korean deli But I am Japanese But with hard work I earn two Master's Degrees In social work! And now I a therapist! But I have no clients And I have an Unemployed fiance'! And we have lots Of bills to pay! It suck to be me! It suck to be me! I say it Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka[x3] Suck! It suck to be me! [PRINCETON:] Excuse me? [BRIAN:] Hey there [PRINCETON:] Sorry to bother you, but I'm Looking for a place to live [CHRISTMAS EVE:] Why you looking all The way out here? [PRINCETON:] Well, I started at Avenue A But so far everything is out Of my price range. But this Neighborhood looks a lot cheaper! Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign! [BRIAN:] You need to talk to The superintendent Let me get him [PRINCETON:] Great, thanks! [BRIAN:] Yo, Gary! [GARY COLEMAN:] I'm comin'! I'm comin'! [PRINCETON:] Oh my God! It's Gary Coleman! [GARY COLEMAN:] Yes I am! I'm Gary Coleman From TV's Diff'rent Strokes I made a lotta money That got stolen By my folks! Now I'm broke and I'm the butt Of everyone's jokes But I'm here The Superintendent! On Avenue Q [ALL:] It sucks to be you [KATE MONSTER:] You win! [ALL:] It sucks to be you [BRIAN:] I feel better now! [GARY COLEMAN:] Try having people Stopping you to ask you "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?" It gets old [ALL:] It sucks to be you On Avenue Q (Sucks to be me) On Avenue Q (Sucks to be you) On Avenue Q (Sucks to be us) But not when We're together We're together Here on Avenue Q! We live on Avenue Q! Our friends do too! 'Til our dreams Come true We live on Avenue Q! [PRINCETON:] This is real life! [ALL:] We live on Avenue Q! [NICKY:] You're gonna love it! [ALL:] We live on Avenue Q! [GARY COLEMAN:] Here's your keys! [ALL:] Welcome to Avenue Q!