When You're Dead

The other day i took a walk because the air was sweet Then i passed the crusty house of a curmudgeon on my street Now every town's got one and i'm sure you'll understand When i tell this ol' bastard was a mean and bitter man Now on this day it was special i was wearing my new hat The ol' curmudgeon saw this and he disapproved of that He said "I had one just like it for ten years, ya ripped me off! You got no right to wear a hat like mine so take it off!" Now as it happens i'm a gentleman so i approached his porch I told him "Great minds think alike and you have one of course So how about i just tip my hat to you when i come through?" He reached down for his gun and said "I'll shoot you if you do!" Then i said "No one's gonna cry at your funeral No one's gonna drink at your wake No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye Cause no one's gonna miss you when you're dead" The next day i forgot this whole damn mess and went to town And there i saw a hundred or so posters all around And on them was my face and i was wearing my new hat And they read "This guy ripped me off! I got one just like that!" I took a walk down to his house to see if i could find A way to show him that we're kindred spirits of the mind I said "I didn't make these hats. Nor did you of course! And hey! we both love Johnny cash!" he said "GET OFF MY PORCH!" Then i said "No one's gonna cry at your funeral No one's gonna drink at your wake No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye Cause no one's gonna miss you when you're dead" When you look back on your life what will you see? Did you spend your time mending fences or planting mines? There's no shortage of potential enemies So dont waste so mush time pushing away your kind Now you may think i'm stupid or just crazy from the heat When i went down to the house of that curmudgeon on my street Maybe it was foolish to go to his house again Just to show this drunk and crazy fool he had a friend When i got there, much to my surprise, he wasn't there He was gone as was his shotgun and his rocking chair I asked the neighbor lady who was laying on her lawn "What happened to that mean ol' man?" she shrugged and that was all! Then i said "No one's gonna cry at your funeral No one's gonna drink at your wake No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye Cause no one's gonna miss you Hell, No one's gonna notice And i'll enjoy the silence When you're dead"