The Houseplant Song

Once I read a book And this is what it said "If your music has a beat Then you're gonna wind up dead." It doesn't really matter If it's CHRISTIAN or not If it's syncopated rhythm Then your soul is gonna rot! And this book was called "HA, You're gonna BURN!" And in the second chapter I went on to learn... Take two houseplants And put 'em to the test Set 'em both in front of speakers To let the music do the rest First one you play Mozart Or something lovely like that Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth! Doesn't really matter WHAT kinda rock it is So I took my two houseplants And I put them to the test Set 'em both in front of speakers To let the music do the rest I powered up my Pioneers to let the music roar But twenty minutes later, someone's knocking at my door I opened up my door And there my neighbor stood He said, "Man, I'd like to get some sleep If you think I could." I said, "Man, can't you see here I have got this moral dilemma I have got to get clear He said, "What kind of moral dilemma can you have at this time of night That could make me so angry I JUST WANNA FIGHT!" Sorry So I pointed to the page In that opened book That had a picture of a potted plant, and I said "Go have a look." And he read: Take two houseplants And put 'em to the test Set 'em both in front of speakers To let the music do the rest First one you play Mozart Or something lovely like that Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth! Doesn't really matter WHAT kinda rock it is "First of all," he said "That's Wagner that you're playin' I've never heard of Petra And isn't Megadeth all dead?" And secondly, emphatically He asked me, "What's the sense Of hanging out with houseplants When, hey, I live right across the fence?" And I thought to myself Y'know, that's a good point So I took my two houseplants And I put 'em both back outside And me and my neighbor Well, we went out for a ride We talked about all the things That really matter most Like life n' love n' happiness And then the Holy Ghost." Now my two houseplants Can sit out in the sun And as for my neighbor Well, our friendship has become A meaningful relationship That's headed straight to heaven But as for now We like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline, CRANKED TO ELEVEN!